Frankosophies: Olympic Special Edition

It's been awhile since I've posted Frank's theories on life and the world and whatnot. But he has this one Frankosophy that he brings up every time the Olympics roll around. And since London 2012 starts Friday, I thought this was a good time for an Olympic version of Frankosophies:

Frank says something like this: "You know, these sports like gymnastics and swimming and the SHOT PUT, nobody ever talks about them any other time. It's not like like football where people follow it religiously and know everything about it. It's like, who cares about synchronize swimming or diving? Nobody! Until it's Olympic time and everyone's talking about it and acting like they know the lingo and  saying they give a s#*t about who wins and who loses and they're all sobbing as someone they've never even heard of runs and does a flip on a vault and "sticks the landing." But why didn't they care about people sticking landings for the last four years? They didn't! They didn't watch gymnastics once and I didn't either and that's why I don't care about the stupid Olympics."

I took some major creative licenses here but you get the point. He will not be joining me couch side as I watch me some kick-ass floor routines next week! Go Team USA!

Boy Crazy

The Fagan Boys (Charlie, Colman and Theo) came to visit last week. We like to thank that "Baby Charlie" (now seven) just missed us and told his brothers how great we were. The truth is, it was LegoLand that inspired their journey from San Antonio. We had fun with these sweet boys and it gave me an idea of what it would be like to have five guys! 

 It didn't seem too hard...but maybe cause there were two boy mamas on duty!

Watch out, Fagans, we are coming to San Antonio next!

Don't be a pain in the boat

Aunt Kathleen and Uncle Bill were nice enough (or brave enough) to let us come out on their boat. It was Gus' first boating experience. A man of the sea he is not. But after lots of crying and screaming he proved he was a man of the sleep: 

Leo (a veteran on what was maybe his second boating experience), was comfortable on the boat. Here he is hanging out on the "plank" with cousin Billy.

Cousins Frank and Bill (I know; lots of Bills!) noodling around.

Here is the nanny we hired. I mean Tia!

Every time Leo got in the lake, he announced he needed to go to the bathroom. Luckily, Kathleen and Bill have a potty on their boat because what he needed to do required facilities. No one had ever done that in their boat potty before until Leo did it...twice!

Gus during a brief happy spell

Two of the three Bills

Leo said the boys could sit at the front and the "gwirls" could sit at the back

Captain Leo!

Sleepy Gus

Boating makes you hungry for Goldfish!

Gus doing his "All Done" sign:

After the screaming from Gus and the bathroom christening by Leo, we're not sure we will be invited back. Good thing we have these pictures!

Orega-no-no

I think I've mentioned before that there are very few foods I don't like. And I think I also mentioned before that this didn't happen until I was 27--the whole me-liking-everything-extravaganza. So on the very small list of foods I don't like are:

• Olives 
• Pickles
• Oregano

The third one is not even a food but rather a spice. (Some say it's an herb but my Google research suggests that spice is correct.) Whenever I explain why I don't like oregano, people look at me like I just said I don't like pizza...or U2...or Fridays. They get this really confused look and then change the subject. So at the risk of scaring you away from my blog, I give you my anti-oregano spiel: 

Have you ever accidentally eaten chicken that's not quite cooked enough? What does it taste like to you? To me, it tastes like cleaner. Like you sprayed 409 on your food and then took a bite. That is exactly what oregano tastes like to me--cleaner! So when I eat something with oregano I freak out and scream, "Ewww! This chicken isn't cooked all the way!" And Frank reminds me, "It's the oregano." And then I'm in a pickle (the second food I don't like). I continue to eat, trying to convince myself that the food is actually cooked all the while doubting this in my head: I'm sure it's cooked. I'm sure it's just the oregano. But what if it's not? What if tastes like cleaner because it's not cooked all the way? What if I get salmonella and I'm up all night throwing up? Ew, throw up. I'm disgusted. I can't eat now. Stupid oregano. 

So how are doing? Thinking I'm crazy? I wondered if anyone else felt the same way so I did a Google search for things like "Anyone else hate oregano?" and "Don't like the taste of oregano" and "Oregano tastes like uncooked food." I shouldn't have done that because now I know...

I am all alone. 

And for some reason...some evil trick played on me by the universe...I ended up with TWO bottles of oregano in my spice rack. I never use them but I can't get rid of them. Today I made lasagna that called for O and I just skipped it. (I did use the basil that my mom and Leo planted in my backyard though!) 

On a side note, the lasagna did not turn out so great. I accidentally bought the need-to-boil noodles but meant to buy the no-boil noodles but didn't realize I had the NTB noodles until I had already put them in the oven, not boiled. I could have sworn I bought those other noodles! 

I can still hear the faint sound of maniacal laughter coming from my spice rack. 

Leo Says the Darndest Things: Part XVIXXVVI

It has been about 18 months since I've posted a "Leo Says the Darndest Things." I've been scribbling things down on Post-Its (or really, these Post-It knock offs that have adhesive on two sides. Weird). So now I think I have enough to share:

A gross darndest thing: 
Leo, age 4 years and 2 months, came into my office after his "relax time" in his room. He said, "May I sit in your lap?" (Leo always says "may," never "can.") "Yes," I told him. "How was your relax time?" And as he's getting comfortable in my lap and I'm thinking how sweet this all is, he says, "Good. I pooped in my pants."

After we cleaned up the poop incident he said he needed to go pee. When he came out of the bathroom he said, "I have bad news and I have good news. Which do you want to hear first?" (And although that statement/question was the funny part I should tell you that the good news was that he peed in the potty, rather than his pants, but the bad news was that his aim was off and some of it landed on the floor.)

A sweet darndest thing: 
"I wish there were two Guses," Leo said. "Why?" I asked. "Because I like to play with him so much. It would be great if there were two of him."
And another sweet one about Gus:
Leo told a lady at swim lessons, "This is my baby brother, Gus!" The lady said, "I bet you love him." Leo said, "I love him more than you even think I do."

Two funny word confusion darndest things: 
"I know what they call doctors who take care of animals. Vegetarians!"

"What would happen if a volcano interrupted?"


A funny/smart darndest thing: 
Leo was playing with a big ball this morning and calling it a piñata. He said, "When you hit a regular piñata the candy falls out but in this case, the candy comes shooting out."
IN THIS CASE? Are you kidding me?

If only he didn't cry because his cheese cube that he wasn't eating anyway fell on the ground, then I'd say he was four going on 40.

Big Ideas

I really have no patience for unoriginality. That's why I cringe when people say really cliche or expected things. For instance, on House Hunters, when they look at the master bedroom closet, the woman always says, "That's big enough for my clothes. I don't know where all your clothes are going to go." Do you think you're the first person to say that, lady? And ugh, I myself have mentioned that example before. There I go, being unoriginal.
I think this all stems from the fact that I have a lot of really awesome ideas. Now I don't act on 99% of them but still, they're up there, brewing. Today I'm going to share three of them with you.  Things are better in threes. (Or is that kind of cliche? And why doesn't Blogger add an accent when I write cliche? My email does it on cafe!)

1. A couple of weeks ago I had some mushrooms on hand so I put together one of my crazy sandwiches--avocado, mushrooms and Laughing Cow garlic and herb cheese. Okay, it's not that crazy but Frank would think it was gross. And it actually wasn't a sandwich but a wrap. It was so delicious.

And that's my first big idea.

Just kidding. My ideas are way better than that. But that gave me an idea. I thought, "I really like avocados. I really like mushrooms. I really like them together. What if I had a restaurant called Avocados and Mushrooms? It would have funky sandwiches and wraps and when I emailed with the staff about it I'd say, Hi, A&M employees...wait. The acronym would be A&M? I can't have a restaurant with that nickname! But an Aggie could. That would be a great restaurant for an Aggie to own. They'd have a built-in client base right there. In the meantime, I will think of another restaurant that could be shortened to UT....Umbilical Tadpoles? Under Train? Umlaut Trance? There's nothing!!"

2. Besides having super awesome, original ideas, I have another talent. (It's unfair, isn't it?) I am really good at singing theme songs to kids' TV shows. I memorize all the words really quickly; I do all the voices and I even have some choreography. Leo doesn't appreciate it but I'm pretty sure other kids would. So if I could just get Leo to act interested then I would do a home movie of me performing one for him, like Dinosaur Train or Little Einstein's or my personal favorite, Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I'd plant it on YouTube and act really surprised when it goes viral. When it does, I will need to do a media blitz, performing my TV theme songs for all the talk shows. Naturally, a DVD deal or two will pop up and I will insist that we need to keep this simple--no big production budgets. I will be called "Theme Song Mom" and kids will beg their parents for my DVD. I may even need to do a mall tour. It worked for Tiffany.

3. Here is a business idea I have: A company called "Just Write." All we do is write copy--for newsletters, articles, brochures, whatever. We don't get all wrapped up in the production of any of it. Because at Just Write, we only hire the best writers. If you go to a brochure-making shop, the copy is really secondary. They throw some words together and then spend all their time on the graphics and layout. I realize it's not exactly turn key but I think we can keep our prices down by not requiring the overhead involved in running a graphics shop. So you can go to Just Write for your copy and then take it over to your designer or Kinko's (now FedEx Office) or your brother-in-law for the layout. Okay, so I don't really have the business plan worked out but I DO have a cool name, right? Write?

Pictures are always better set to music

Especially when the music is Bon Jovi! 

Here is a video of Claire and John's visit from Atlanta (Roswell) to Dallas (Frisco). It's been two months since we've seen our friends but of course it was like no time had passed. Claire and I never stopped chatting and Leo and John never stopped playing, fighting and wrestling. 

As Leo noted, Frank and Gus were "sad because Tyler and Mr. Josh weren't there." But as you'll see, they made do with Claire and John!