Leo Says the Darndest Things: Part XVIXXVVI

It has been about 18 months since I've posted a "Leo Says the Darndest Things." I've been scribbling things down on Post-Its (or really, these Post-It knock offs that have adhesive on two sides. Weird). So now I think I have enough to share:

A gross darndest thing: 
Leo, age 4 years and 2 months, came into my office after his "relax time" in his room. He said, "May I sit in your lap?" (Leo always says "may," never "can.") "Yes," I told him. "How was your relax time?" And as he's getting comfortable in my lap and I'm thinking how sweet this all is, he says, "Good. I pooped in my pants."

After we cleaned up the poop incident he said he needed to go pee. When he came out of the bathroom he said, "I have bad news and I have good news. Which do you want to hear first?" (And although that statement/question was the funny part I should tell you that the good news was that he peed in the potty, rather than his pants, but the bad news was that his aim was off and some of it landed on the floor.)

A sweet darndest thing: 
"I wish there were two Guses," Leo said. "Why?" I asked. "Because I like to play with him so much. It would be great if there were two of him."
And another sweet one about Gus:
Leo told a lady at swim lessons, "This is my baby brother, Gus!" The lady said, "I bet you love him." Leo said, "I love him more than you even think I do."

Two funny word confusion darndest things: 
"I know what they call doctors who take care of animals. Vegetarians!"

"What would happen if a volcano interrupted?"


A funny/smart darndest thing: 
Leo was playing with a big ball this morning and calling it a piñata. He said, "When you hit a regular piñata the candy falls out but in this case, the candy comes shooting out."
IN THIS CASE? Are you kidding me?

If only he didn't cry because his cheese cube that he wasn't eating anyway fell on the ground, then I'd say he was four going on 40.