Nothing says wireless like…

 

Once upon a time I was working at an ad agency and my client was a computer company. They wanted us to make a brochure about all their wireless capabilities but they didn’t like any of the photos we had chosen. They kept asking us to send more photos so we kept pulling stock images and emailing them over. No, no, no. They didn’t like any of them. We were getting desperate and cross-eyed, and I guess in the midst of all these emails, we sent over a picture that looked like this:

 

They didn’t say anything about this particular photo at the time but later, when I was at their offices for a meeting, I saw that one of the clients had this photo taped up to her cube with a big sign over it that said:

NOTHING SAYS WIRELESS LIKE…

They were mocking us!! They were right but still, they were mocking us!

So I couldn’t help thinking about that little incident when I stupidly looked behind our entertainment center today. This piece of furniture houses:

The surround sound system

The cable box

The Blu-ray player

The router

So how many cords and wires do you think would be required to run these four pieces of equipment? Wait, let me first tell you that the Blu-ray player and router are both called “wireless.” So you’d probably assume that the other two had at least one cord, maybe two. So that’s four wires/cords max?

For some reason, it looks like this:

 

I tried to count the wires but I got confused after 22. The surround sound system, come to think of it, is actually called “wireless” too but even it has several wires in the back plus wires coming from two of the speakers!

 

I get so frustrated when I see a picture in a Pottery Barn catalog of a home office:

 

I ask you, WHERE ARE THE WIRES?? Does their laptop have a super battery? Do they not need a printer? A modem? A router? An external hard drive? A mouse?  I’ve never had a home office look that nice because I’ve got wires out the wazoo! And I have a laptop and wireless internet!!

So here’s what I’ve realized: there is no such thing as wireless. In fact, the more wireless things I buy, the more wires I get. I’m gonna call that computer client and tell ‘em that picture was perfect.