"Historic Value"

As Frank and I drove the five + hours to Charleston, SC this weekend, we were curious if our Hotwire-booked hotel room would be nice. Sure, it was a “boutique” hotel which usually means hip and upscale. However, it could also mean old and small. Plus, we had read on their website that they had awesome suites with views of downtown as well as “historic value rooms” (with no views mentioned).

So naturally, we ended up with the historic value room. Before I complain, though, I’ll tell you its good points:

It was very clean.
It was updated.
It had a flat screen TV.
It was in a great location.

Now let me tell the downside:

It was small.

Yes, we were expecting small but we weren’t expecting smaller than Leo’s nursery, possibly smaller than my mid-sized SUV.

It had no view.

Now when I say, “it had no view” I don’t mean I’m some sort of diva who expects to see a skyline or a body of water. I would settle for an alley. No, when I say “it had no view,” I mean it had no window that we could see out of.

One window was an interior window that looked out into the hotel hallway. The other one was a tiny way-up-high window that was just there for fire codes. See?



But since I rank my priorities as clean, good location, view, I was really okay with the good old historic value room. I think it's my duty, though, to invite you to add that term to your list of hotel room euphemisms so you have it in your mind next time you're booking a trip. Now you can include "historic value" with other well-known hotel room euphemisms like “charming,” “quaint” and “basic.”

Oh, and always beware if they’re hyping up minimal amenities like “hot water!” “A/C!” "shampoo!" "hairdryer!" and “free Bible in every room!”

Come to think of it, our room didn’t come with a Bible. If only we had booked a "religious value room..."