"A Waste is a Terrible Thing to Mind"

My eighth grade science teacher said that on the first day of school. At first we thought she was just dyslexic but then realized she was trying to make a point. I have a feeling most of us disappointed her by the end of the year.

I’m using her clever twist on a cliché for my title but it doesn’t have much to do with my topic which is about wasting food and other consumable goods.

It seems to me that everybody is extreme when it comes to wasting:

On one side we have people who have no problem throwing things away, even things that are still usable or edible like milk that’s one day away from the due date or pennies.

On the other side we have people who can’t bear to see anything go in the trash. “What? Is that a piece of a pretzel on the ground? Whatever you do, don’t throw it away!”

The former are usually younger folks while the latter are usually those who grew up in the Depression (my grandma).

Both sides have valid points but the Depression-era group has one thing all wrong: They believe that if you put it in your mouth, it’s not wasting. But eating something just because you don’t want to waste it is silly.

A quick hypothetical: your electricity is out so your fridge is off. All the food is going to go bad. What do you do?

If you answered, “eat all the food as fast as you can,” then in my opinion, you’re a little bonkers.

You see, it only makes sense to eat food that’s going to go bad IF it’s going to replace a meal. If you’re just eating because you can’t stand to see it go to waste then it’s the same as putting it in the garbage can. Only it’s worse because it makes you unnecessarily fat.

“But what about the starving kids in Africa?” you say. That argument doesn't make any sense either. A friend told me that when she was younger she used to put her food very neatly on a plate before putting it in the trash, you know, so the kids in Africa wouldn’t have to dig around for it.

So how does you eating extra food help kids in Africa? If you really want to help, signing up for Save the Children make a lot more sense.

Sometimes when I think about eating something just because I don’t want to throw it away, I consider this: “When someone asks me why I've gained a bunch of weight what will I say? My explanation sounds ridiculous: ‘I exercise regularly and eat pretty well but there was this giant cake that someone left at my house and I HAD to eat it all or else it would go to waste.’”

Okay, so most likely nobody’s going to ask you that but still, you want to have an answer ready and that one’s just not gonna cut it.

So to sum it up, unless the food is replacing a meal then it’s better off in the trash.

Wait. I can think of a catchier mantra. Ooh, I got it:

“Better as waste than on your waist.”

Take that, eighth grade science teacher.