A Holiday Tip from Cookinggal

Around this time of year you probably have way too much food in your house. Maybe it's because you hosted a cookie exchange. Maybe you had an ornament-making party full of babies and their mommies. Maybe all your neighbors brought you goodies. Maybe your mother sent a giant coffee cake. Maybe your husband comes home with random gift baskets from work. Maybe that same husband works for a food company and brings home packages of products with no labels so you don't even know what they are.

At least those are my reasons.

While I love goodies as much as the next girl, I'm here all day, surrounded by them. And that other guy who's here with me doesn't have teeth. So it's up to me to eat them...or give them away. I'm pretty good at pushing food on people so I thought I'd share with you my tips on how to get friends, family and workers who come to your house to take food from you:

1. Package the food in a cute goodie bag: That's how I got the carpet cleaning man to take goodies yesterday. In a red holiday baggy I put candy canes, mini muffins (left over from the ornament party) and mystery Frito Lay snacks. I did this even though he was late and tracked in mud.

2. Say, "I made it especially for you!" (This works for friends or family, not so much the carpet cleaning man).

3. Tell them, "I'm just going to throw it out." This almost never fails. People cannot stand to see food get thrown away. The only time someone considers refusing is if they think you're bluffing. If this happens, go to #4.

4. Actually hold it over the trash.

5. Say, "I'm pushing it" which has about a 50/50 shot. See, they feel the obligation but then your food just lost of some of its value. But I guess the same could be said for threatening to throw it in the trash.

6. Sneak it into their...purse, pockets, fanny pack (whatever the case may be).

And here is a list of things to say that will NOT get people to take your food:

1. Can I get you something?
2. Would you like some of this?
3. Could I offer you a piece of pie?
4. Are you hungry?

Basically, don't phrase it in the form of a question. Food pushers are action-oriented. My grandma, for instance, just shoves a plate in front you. Frank's Nana will put chips and dip right under your nose (and sometimes a strong drink to go with it).

And if all else fails, you can always do the pinch their nose so their mouth opens trick.

Happy Pushing!