Cold Theory

I sniff a lot. And when I do people ask, “Oh, do you have a cold?”

I always say “No, I just sniff a lot.” But here’s what I’ve decided: I don’t really believe in colds. I never diagnose myself with one.

Leo’s doctor asked the other day if Leo had ever had a cold.

“No,” I said.

But there was that time he had a runny nose. And there have been days where I’ve had to extract lots of boogers. But does that mean he has a cold? Not to me. I mean, does having a runny nose and feeling tired really need a name? Can’t you just feel that way?

And that’s when I came up with my big cold theory. Here is a replay of what went on in my brain:

Maybe there’s no such thing as a cold!
Yes, of course! That’s why they can never find a cure.
And they’re always calling it “the common cold.” Well if it’s so common then maybe it’s not something that needs a name. Like if you feel sad because you saw a homeless person, does that need a name? Or if your hair just happens to look bad one day, is there a name for that? Well, I guess that’s a bad hair day. But still, you don’t try to look for drugs to cure it.
But then again, people seem to pass colds from one person to another. They say you “catch cold.” So that makes it seem like a real disease.
But maybe we just think we catch colds. Maybe it’s such a common state of being that lots of people seem to have colds at once, but really they just have some symptoms.
I bet it's a conspiracy by the cold medicine companies. And the doctors. And kids who want to stay home from school. And probably terrorists.

Okay, so my theory isn’t completely solid but I know this: I don’t get colds. And maybe you don’t either.

I think I'm onto something here; I’ve just gotta get more information. No matter what it takes, I’m gonna sniff it out!