Obsession…by Frank

My husband is not a total gadget geek. But when he does decide that he wants a certain piece of electronic equipment, he becomes obsessed. He can’t think about anything else and worse, he can’t talk about anything else.

This past summer it was the flat screen TV:

“Don’t you think this room would look better with a flat screen TV?”

“Now what if we put the couch over there? Then the flat screen TV could go there.”

“Oh, you’re dusting the TV? If we had a flat screen there wouldn’t be as much to dust.”

“Josh just got a flat screen.”

“Hey, can we run into Best Buy? I just wanna check out their flat screens.”

“I saw a really good deal on a flat screen in the Fry’s ad.”

“I’m gonna go to BrandsMart on my lunch break to check out their flat screens.”

“Josh got another flat screen for his basement!”

“I’m buying a flat screen! I’ve narrowed it down to three kinds.” (This is followed by long explanations, prices and pro/cons for each.)

“I’ve been shopping all day. Been to twelve different stores. It’s between two now.”

“I bought a flat screen!”

One month later: “Can we just go into the store really quick to make sure the flat screen I got isn’t any cheaper?”

When the sales person asked if we needed help I just said, “No. We bought one a month ago. Now he just has to come here and visit the others to make sure he got the best deal. If he didn’t, he’ll never sleep again.”

So in the past few weeks it’s been the same dialogue but the subject is now surround sound. This time the pitch to me was tougher. I like TVs. I like the new flat screen. And you know what? I can hear it just fine! It’s not that big of a room. So why, oh why, is it necessary to be surrounded by the sound?

Plus, surround sound systems (I learned, after several visits to electronic stores) involve lots of speakers and woofers. (I don’t actually know what a woofer is but it’s ugly and takes up too much room.) I saw no value in surround sound.

But Frank wouldn’t give up. It was the same pattern as the TV. Lots of store visits, lots of ad checking, incessant talking about surround sound. And just like the TV, he became increasingly aggravated by our current situation. “That would sound so much better if we had surround sound,” he would say. “Are you deaf?” I would ask. “Can you not hear the TV?”

This time he even got wrapped up in eBay auctions. He would bid on something, not get it and then set his alarm to wake up later that night and bid on another one. When he didn’t get that one I said, “Are you ever going to give up?” He said, “I can’t. I’m obsessed.”

And so, as with his last obsession, he finally bought it. He proudly showed it to me last night by turning up the volume really loud. “Did you hear that toilet flush? It sounds so cool!” Yes, I’ve always wanted to be surrounded by the sounds of toilets flushing.

Now phase II will begin: the second-guessing. Did I get the best price? Did I get the best system? Should I beat myself up for not winning that eBay auction?

And then we’ll move on to another obsession. At least this time I’ll be surrounded by sound so I can tune him out.