Gap be Gone

It’s rude of me, really, to leave you hanging like this. I’ve been telling you about my teeth troubles for over a year now and then I suddenly stopped giving you updates. And while it's not like I've received an influx of emails, begging me to finish the story, I'm going to do that anyway.

Here’s a timeline to refresh your memory:

1989--Braces are put on

1993—Jaw Surgery
1994—Braces come off
1995-1999—Four years of dental neglect (also known as “college”)
1999-2006—Gum problems, gap in bottom teeth grows as a result of not wearing retainer
2006—Decide to fix it all:

June 2006: gum surgery

September 2006: tiny rubberbands (you know I STILL find those things lying around the house even though I've moved thousands of miles away since I last wore them?)

November 2006-September 2007- retainer
September 2007—lose retainer at Frank’s Aunt and Uncle's house in Alabama; panic. Gap continues to grow.
September 2007—go to dentist to see about getting new retainer; suggests veneers.
October 2007—Sell several organs to pay for veneers (you don't really need a spleen, do you?) Let the dentist torture me for first stage of veneers. Pain worse than jaw surgery.
October 2007—Frank’s Aunt’s cat drags my retainer out from under a bed. She mails it back to me. It’s too late. We’ve already begun the veneer process and I’ve already charged it to my credit card.
October 2007—After lots of screaming, tears and angry pleas, my veneers are complete.

Here's the best I can do for a before and after. If you look closely (or maybe you don't even have to look too closely), you can see the growing gap in my bottom teeth.

No gap!

Jealous of my new fake-teeth grin? You too could have a smile like Writinggal!

It's simple. Here are the things you'll need:

-Patience: (It took me 18 years to get this look.)

-Four dentists, two orthodontists, an oral surgeon and a periodontist

-About $15,000 (thanks to my parents for covering most of that in the early years)

-A high threshold for pain (or the ability to scream while people are drilling in your mouth)

Hey, don't get down. I've got some rubberbands you can borrow to get you started.