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Tuesday, September 01, 2009

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

You’d think I’d learn from the dip disaster of 2006.

This time it was the people at Klondike who fooled me.


I had been buying their “Slim-a-bear” 100 calorie frozen novelties for the better part of the summer. We loved the ice cream sandwiches and the chocolate popsicles so last week I searched for a new variety. And wouldn’t you know it…they had original-style Klondike bars in the “Slim-a-bear” line. Sure, I didn’t believe that 100 calories of a Klondike bar could be as good as a regular Klondike but I was going to allow for a little taste loss.

I’ll let the conversations at our house over the past week tell the rest of the story:


First night eating 100-calorie Klondike bars:

Frank: “Wow, these are really good! And they’re so big!”
Me: “I know! They don’t seem like only 100 calories. This is definitely their best 100-calorie dessert. Why can’t they make the other ones taste this good?”

Next night:
Frank: “I’m so excited to eat my Klondike bar again. They’re so good…and healthy!”
Me: “I know! Here is you’re awesome, 100-calorie Klondike bar. Man, it’s really huge!”

Third night:
Me: “Frank, aren’t you going to eat a Klondike bar?”
Frank: “No, that one last night was really filling. I wish they weren’t so big.”
Me: “Usually people are glad that something that’s 100 calories is so big.”
Frank: “Well, I think I’d rather it be 50 calories and be half the size."
Me: “It’s just weird…the ice cream sandwiches weren’t that filling. The chocolate popsicles weren’t either. And neither of them were as good as these.

Light bulb.

Me: “Wait a second. Give me that box!”

I read it: Yes, it said “Slim-a-bear” but it didn't say anything about 100 calories. It did say “no sugar added” which we all know is just a scam. I guess they were just right next to the other 100-calorie goodies. Fooled again!


Frank read the real stats. “You don’t want to know,” he said.
“More than 200?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said.
“More than 300?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said.
“Oh, no. Not more than 400?” I asked.
Frank nodded as I felt the button on my shorts start to pop open.

But then Frank started laughing and handed me the box. It was only 170. Schwoo.

Still, those Klondike people have ruined everything. I can’t go back to their tasteless, watery, 100-calorie sandwiches.

Now I need the good stuff. But we might have to split it.

4 comments:

Granny Jo said...

I bought the same bars and loved them. I just wish Frank wouldn't eat them all.

Liz said...

HA!!! This reminds me of the time Daniel intended to buy "caffeine free diet dr. pepper." He drank like four of them in one day. He was so excited because they were SO good. Only for me to look in the fridge and realize they were NOT diet. He cussed. And we've never attempted caffeine free since then.

Writinggal said...

Oh, She. You should click on the "dip disaster of 2006" link. You made that SAME comment on that blog :) But your story is smart and pretty.

Kristin said...

I thought of the dip disaster of 2006 when I saw that dip in the store Sunday. I was thinking what an awesome world it would be if it was that low calorie. I would eat it like soup!
There is a Jason's Deli in the West U Village that has Diet Dr. Pepper from the fountain that tastes like regular Dr. P. I am always suspicious, but get refills anyway!