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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Permanent Pimpin'

72 Days is…

a). The amount of time you can keep lunch meat in your fridge before it starts to taste like Lysol.

b). How long it takes for my brown roots to start peeping out.

c). The number of days I’ve had this pimple on my face


Answer: C (sorry I would have put it upside down and smaller but I don’t know how to do that.)


On the bright side: it’s not as big as when it first appeared in 2006.
On the dark side: it’s still here.

What is it doing here? What is its purpose? Does it have a message for me? Is it actually a spaceship and aliens are going to emerge from it?

I want to thank everyone for their pimple remedies. I’ve tried them all. And while I don’t doubt that your solutions are successful, I think they are merely what you say they are—pimple solutions.

This, my friends, is no pimple. It laughs at pimples. It bullies pimples. It squashes pimples. This is some other life form that can’t be controlled by Oxy, toothpaste or Visine. No amount of face-washing, cleansing and toning can defeat this beast. It’s too powerful.

So I have no choice but to grow to love it. I’ll have to think of it as my own version of Cameron Diaz’s crooked nose (wait, she fixed that) or Kelly Clarkson’s big bootie (darn, she got skinny) or Pink’s trademark hair color (didn't she go blonde?)

Yes, I’ll just be known as “The girl with the bite on her face.” People will say, “Which one is she?” And someone will say, “You know, that girl who has that huge bump on her face.” And the original person will go, “Oh, right! Now I know who you’re talking about. Why doesn’t she get that fixed?”

Because it’s a part of me. And like the 72-day-old lunch meat in my fridge, it’s here to stay.


4 comments:

Jessi said...

Go get it checked out :(

Anonymous said...

I was thinking maybe the dermatologist could freeze it off.

I will sing a song for it:

"The Never Ending Pimple, la la la la la la..."

Writinggal said...

Yikes. Do you guys think I'm dundies?

I sing that song all the time: Never-ending email, never-ending phone message, never-ending blog comment...

Writinggal said...

Ew, that big dog is just creepy!