My Tweaks for Target

If I ever decided to work in a corporate establishment in human resources, the people at Target would be fools not to hire me. Sure, I don't have any HR experience but I do have TARGET experience. A lot of it. Right there in the trenches.

I've actually distanced myself from the red bullet in the last few months. I didn't do it intentionally. It's not because of that silly credit card snafu or anything. I think it's because it's about four minutes farther from my house than Kroger. But that doesn't make sense because Kroger doesn't have Starbucks, clothes or lamp shades. Still, my red card bill was significantly lower these last few months.

Back to HR: Since I still frequent Target at least once a week, I have some observations about their employees:

First of all, why oh why can't Target issue a standard red shirt? Cause these guys take the word "red" very loosely. They think it includes rose, maroon and neon pink. There I am asking someone  in a burgundy top where the Pull-ups are and she's all, "Do I look like I work here, lady?"

I also think they need consistent educational standards in hiring. Like, you need to at least have a high school diploma or a GED to work there full-time. But you don't need a college degree, much less a masters, like the guys I overheard the other day:

These two dudes were stocking the lame produce section in a non-Super Target. (They still had four-pack avocados--score!) They were both in their early 20s. One guy says something like, "The actual catalyst for the French and Indian War was France's expansion into the Ohio River Valley although many believe it was Great Britain's claims to Quebec." Then the other Target dude said something like, "But it was France's reconnaissance mission that brought about the retaliation of the British troops in the Mississippi Valley."

Huh?? (Btw, I don't even think they were talking about the French and Indian War but it was some war and they were using REALLY big words!) I mean, I could understand that one guy was a war buff and somehow was wasting his genius at Target. But two smarty pants? If I were in HR I would have at least put them in a Super Target.

But today I overheard some Target employees talking that made me think Target does NOT enforce the GED thing.

Target employee talking on his walkie talkie: "Yes, this is Lyle over in bedding. What is a sham? I repeat, what is a sham?  Do you copy? A sham?"

Now it's bad enough that Lyle didn't know what a sham was but there were THREE other employees AND a customer in this circle of nonsense. Lyle went on:

"A SHAM! What is it? No, no, I'm in the bedding section. It says it's a sham! Oh, it's for pillows? Thanks! He says it's something for pillows." And then silently to himself he surely said, "Who woulda thunk it?"

And this was a Super Target! I expect more. I mean, what if one of the war nerds had to stock shelves with Lyle one day? War nerd would be so annoyed. Or maybe Lyle would be.

Or it's quite possible war nerd does not know what a sham is either.

And I betcha neither one of them knows the difference between red and magenta.