Dental Dating

For me, finding a dentist is like blind dating. I try out a lot; very few make the cut. And the whole experience is frustrating, uncomfortable and sometimes awkward. Last week I ran out of a dentist. I'll tell you how that happened. But first, a little of my dental dating history:

Several years ago I went to one where I had a meeting with the hygienist followed by, "Okay, now let's  schedule your cleaning!" I said, "Um, your'e not going to clean my teeth today?"
"Oh no!" she said. "This appointment was just for us to get to know you!"

I took off work for this?

Then there was the dentist who wanted to do a "treatment plan" for Frank and me. Now, for someone like me (with a history of dental issues) that wasn't too hard to believe. But Frank (who, by the way, rarely flosses but has excellent reports from the dentist) has never even had a cavity. So when he heard "treatment plan," he knew that just meant "ca-ching!"

After that one we hit one of those chain dentists that recommended veneers for me WHILE I WAS PREGNANT. That means I didn't get the strong stuff and it was THE MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCE EVER. The dentist said, 'Girl, I don't know how you're gonna go through child birth if you can't handle this." I still have PTSD when I think about it.

Oh, and I can't forget the one after that where I had a little fit in the waiting room. I was waiting…and waiting…and waiting and it was getting to the point where I had about 45 minutes until I had to pick up Leo from preschool. So I asked how long it was going to be. They said they didn't know. I explained that I might just need to reschedule because, if it was going to be much longer and I couldn't get a cleaning in, then I didn't want to sit in the waiting room anymore. The hygienist came roaring out of the back saying, "I'LL BE DONE WHEN I'M DONE!!" Let's just say I responded unfavorably. They gave me a Chili's gift card as an apology. So we kept going there. They put a note in my chart that said I was not to be with that particular hygienist.

Our dentist in Frisco--awesome. Finally.

But then we moved back to Roswell so we had to find another dentist here. Sure, we could have gone back to Chili's gift card dentist but it's a little far for us now. So I found one on our insurance and off I went to my first cleaning last week. (I like to go to the dentist 3-4 times a year; it cuts down on the lecturing and scolding I get for "never flossing." Btw, I floss every single night, better than they do it.)

This one took the cake. I go in and it's a really nice place, like almost too nice. The lady behind the desk introduces herself and SHAKES MY HAND. Wow, I thought. They are really friendly. This place is awesome. "We have coffee, bars, tea…" she told me, pointing to this cute little kitchenette area in the waiting room. I settled into one of their comfy couches and thought, "I think I'm gonna like it here. I think this might be THE ONE."

I filled out a heap of paperwork and then they called me back to give me a tour. Yes, a tour. Okay, a little unnecessary but whatever. I don't care about your "state of the art" crown machine and your sink area. Then she takes me into the "consultation room" where she proceeds to ask me questions like, "What kind of relationship do you want with your dentist?" To which I replied, "This is funny. I just want a cleaning."

Then ANOTHER person comes into the consultation room to, I guess consult with me more. I felt like I was on a job interview! Wait, I mean a blind date. I'm mixing metaphors. This lady gives me a full bio on the dentist--super detailed. Where she went to undergrad, dental school, her family, her philosophy…OMG, will someone just clean my damn teeth? I think she mentioned the word "treatment plan" too---before they even looked at my teeth! When I told her that I had had gum surgery she said, "How would you feel if the dentist recommended a deep cleaning of your gums? I said, "I would hate it. I would be very much opposed to that."

I then ask, "How much longer is this appointment?" She said, "We have you scheduled for two hours." At this point it had been about 45 minutes. She then sent me back to that waiting room, which I no longer thought was so comfortable. In fact, I was getting so antsy that I started to plan my escape. As the one hour mark approached and I still hadn't seen a dentist or a dental chair, I got up my nerve.

I approached my new best friend behind the front desk (she was super friendly and had chatted with me about Texas) and said, "My son's school just texted me. He's sick and I have to go pick him up."

"Oh no! I hope it's not that stomach bug! Is he throwing up?"

"Yes, um, yes he is."

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"I'll just call to reschedule!" I said, and I ran out of there as fast as I could!

Now I have been on a lot of bad dental dates. But that was the first one that I totally bailed on. They haven't tried too hard to hunt me down (just a generic text and email) so I am just going to avoid them. I've already made an appointment at a new dentist. It felt like a good fit because the woman on the phone laughed when I told her about this experience. I mean, I had to make sure they weren't going to do the same thing!

So keep your fingers crossed that this one's a keeper.