Merry Christmas--Not!

Getting the Christmas letter out this year was a bit hairy. First, I had to wait until the cards arrived and they were delayed because of our ice storm. Once they got here we could have been in business except back in 2003 I committed to writing a Christmas letter every year! And I had written the letter...but the paper hadn't arrived (blame that ice storm again). The paper finally got here on the 17th. (We were still waiting on stamps. Maybe I need to cut back on the online shopping.) We started to print the letters but our printer was all kooky and that set us back a night. We thought about going somewhere to make copies but we couldn't even get one good original copy.

Finally, Frank started the fulfillment process on Wednesday, the 18th. I was at a Christmas party so couldn't help or be there for quality control (foreshadowing alert!).  Anyway, we were determined to finish them up Thursday, the 19th, so we could mail them, Friday, the 20th, and just barely get them to our recipients' homes before Christmas. I'm pretty sure this is our latest arrival of a Christmas letter!

As we were nearing the end of our stuffing and stamping, I happened to glance at the last line of my letter. And there it was. Not only a typo but a typo that totally changed the punch line of my letter.

You see, at the beginning of my letter I talked about how everyone started decorating for Christmas so early this year, like November 1st. I said that I feared that, by the time they received my letter, they would already be addressing Valentines. Then at the end I say that I hope everyone can slow down and enjoy this Christmas season. "But if not, Happy Valentine's Day!"

Well, our spacing got all messed up so the "But if" got lost in a snowman towards the bottom of the page. So the last two lines now read like this: "We hope that you are able to slow down and enjoy this Christmas season. not, Happy Valentine’s Day!"

You see what's happened here, right? It now appears as if I tried to make a "not" joke, circa 1992. And while some might think "not" jokes are so old that they have come back around, that is not the case. It's still too soon! They're old but not retro. And bottom line, that is NOT what I was going for.

At this late in the game I certainly couldn't open all the envelopes and put in new letters. I mean, they were stamped and stamps are like $.50 each! So we did print new letters for the envelopes we hadn't stuff yet. So a few lucky folks will get the right punch line. The rest of you will just have to enjoy our messed up letter--not!

I'm going to paste the correct letter here because that makes me feel better. If you find other errors and typos, please keep it to yourself.

Dear Friends and Family,                                                                 December 2013

I’m going to always remember 2013 as the year that everyone got a jump on Christmas. I mean, I had barely scooped up the remains of our rotted jack-o-lantern when suddenly, halls were decked, chestnuts were roasting and elves were on shelves. I fear that, by the time you receive this, you will be addressing Valentines. Nevertheless, a Simcik family update is welcomed any time of year, right? 

This will be our second Christmas in Frisco.  Of course we miss our wonderful friends in Georgia, but we have grown to love this little town back in our home state of Texas. We’ve gotten involved in our church, St. Francis of Assisi, are enjoying our friendly neighborhood and love the endless entertainment opportunities for the kids (jumpy places and froyo on every corner)!

Mind you, we could not afford the admission at said jumpy places if it weren’t for Frank, working as a finance director at Frito Lay. Frank also found time to play on a softball team this year. At first he was reluctant but after a nudge (shove, really) from me, he ended up enjoying it.

When I’m not herding our boys, I churn out one or two articles a month for a couple of local magazines.  I’m also teaching spin (and branching out into other formats like Tabata) at our local YMCA. But mostly I’m doing domestic diva stuff like cleaning, cooking and breaking up fights.  

Leo is five-and-a-half and is doing a year of Pre-K before heading to the big leagues next year. He loves being the “big man on campus” at his preschool, which is at our church. Leo played soccer, takes gymnastics and learned to swim sans floaties this summer.  He’s a big Star Wars fan like his daddy so he went as Darth Vader for Halloween. He also dresses up as Darth Vader for other occasions like Tuesdays.

 Gus is two-and-a-half (those halves are important, y’all) and attends the same preschool as Leo two days a week. He loves sports, especially UT football.  He likes to say, “Texas Fight! Give ‘em Heck!” Gus takes gymnastics like Leo but swimming seems to be his strong suit (also like daddy). The guy can full on swim! We are totally going to save money on floaties this summer.

Frank and I celebrated our ten-year wedding anniversary with a trip to Playa del Carmen, Mexico (the site of our honeymoon) in March. We went with our Atlanta friends, Josh and Claire, who were also ten years into this whole marriage thing. Then we visited Atlanta over 4^th of July and went to North Carolina to see the Kinfolk that same month. We made it down to Houston a few times and added on a trip to Galveston with Frank’s family at the end of August. In November we got to see Gus’ beloved Texas Longhorns beat Kansas and visit my sister Kristin (better known as Tia). We hosted my family for Thanksgiving and plan to wait here for the big guy on Christmas. Soon after we will head down to Houston to collect all the grandparent loot.

We hope that you are able to slow down and enjoy this Christmas season. But if not, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love,

Elsa, Frank, Leo and Gus