The Wine Goblet and The Washcloth

I was just ordering a wedding present online and pickins' were slim. The things that were left on the registry weren't quite enough for a whole gift so I needed to buy two things. I ended up pulling a Frank and buying two totally unrelated items:

--a scale and water filter replacements

I saw Frank do this at one of the first weddings we attended together. We went to Macy's on the day of the wedding (who does that anymore?) and printed out the registry. He saw that the couple needed wine goblets. Now, he didn't want to purchase the desired amount of wine goblets (four?) nor did he even care to invest in TWO wine goblets. He did, however, think it would be in poor taste to buy simply ONE wine goblet. He wanted to spend about $5-$10 more so he ventured over to the bath section with his list and grabbed a washcloth. ONE washcloth.

I'm pretty sure when he had them wrap it he told them to put the wash cloth in the wine goblet. How puzzled the newlyweds must have been to receive such a gift.

"Did Frank think we might need a wash cloth in case we spill the wine?"

"Maybe he figured after drinking wine, surely one of us would need to take a shower?"

"It probably wasn't even his idea. Bet it was that new girlfriend of his. She looked a little ditsy. Is she the one who started the macarena at the reception?"

Frank didn't understand that gifts should be themed. Like if you buy a toaster you can also buy a bread box. (Although that's a silly example because neither of us would ever spend that much on a wedding gift!) How about if you buy them a mixing bowl you can also buy a rolling pin? Or if you buy a toothbrush holder you could purchase a matching soap dispenser? Or here's an idea: If you buy them a wine goblet, get them another wine goblet!

I wonder what this couple will think of my scale/water filter replacement gift:

"Maybe she thought we work out a lot so we'll need to drink lots of water and weigh ourselves."

"Is she saying we're fat so we need to drink more water and check our weights daily?"

"It was probably Frank's idea. He's totally judgmental about weight and water and especially water weight."

Darn. Now we've insulted them. I knew I should have gone with the bath mat and the spatula.