A while back I talked about my different Facebook pet peeves—the people who give broad invitations to go out (anyone want to go to happy hour?), people who use FB to promote their pyramid schemes and people who think any of us care what they’re doing on Farmville.
I realize now I left off a really important one: People who use Facebook to have a relationship. Some examples with fake names:
Sally Smithers posts on Jason Smithers wall: I love you, honey! You’re the best husband in the world!
Jason Smithers comment: No, you are the best wife in the world!
Sally Smithers comment: No, you are the best, ya cutie!
Jason Smithers comment: No, you are, you pumpkin butt!
Sally Smithers comment: Okay, fine. It’s a tie, my dimpley-do!
Carl Mitchell to girlfriend, Missy Hartwell: I hope you have a day as beautiful as you are, honey!
Jan Salsbury (I’m getting really creative with these fake names!) to her husband, Tony: Thanks for the wonderful meal tonight, Tony! You are the best husband in the world!
Jason Smithers comment: No, I am the best husband in the world!
I’m all in favor of love but do you really need to play it out on Facebook? Even a simple “I love you,” did you really have to write it on your beloved’s wall? Or could you have put that in an email? You might say, “Why should I hide my love? I want to shout it to the world!” That’s my point. Are you trying to tell everyone or just that person? It all seems a little show-offy to me. Kind of Tom-Cruise-Couch-Jumping, don’t ya think? In fact, I’d be willing to bet you’re more affectionate on Facebook than in real life. Soon they’ll have to add “virtual love” to the Five Love Languages and change it to the Six Love Languages.
She says: “I really prefer to show my love on social networking sites. I also like tweeting about it.”
He says: “But I prefer quality time!”
She says: “Hey, virtual love is my love language! Whaddya gonna do? If you want to know how much I love you, check your Facebook wall.”
3 comments:
Ha! This is awesome.
Have you ever seen this site... an homage to all the idiot couples out there? It used to be stfumarrieds but looks like it's changed to couples.
http://www.stfucouples.com/
(sorry for the implied foul language)
OMG - I completely agree. Whitney and I were just talking about this. Actually we talk about this all the time. It is so annoying! I don't mind the occassional I love you or have a great day. But the sticky, saccharine every day, multiple times a day. Give me a break. And I agree - I bet they aren't that way in "real" life. If they were, they wouldn't have to broadcast it. puke.
How about the couples who fight via Facebook, just as bad. I read an article about it, since I do not log on to Facebook ofter.
Keep it all to yourselves!
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