Leo's been here 13 months

On Leo's one year post I reported that he's trying to do lots of things. Here's an update on his progress:

Talking: He's getting better at words like "hat" (which used to be 'ha' but now sometimes has a 't' on the end) and "back pack" which used to be 'ta ta' and now sometimes is 'pat pat.' He's added duck, car and of course, mama to his list. Frank says that Leo likes to point at things and state the obvious. About 30 times a day he points at his hats and says, "hat!"

Walking: Not real close on this but he does get around with one knee up and one knee down; we call it the "proposal" move. His left leg is all red today from doing this on concrete.

Sippy cup manners: We've taken to tying his cup to his high chair. Forget teaching him the right thing to do; I was tired of picking it up! And speaking of sippy cups, he's also an SC klepto. I always catch him stealing other kids' sippies at playgroups.

Getting his teeth: The top two have come through so he's got four total (and he uses them...not to bite food but to bite mommy).

Getting his hair: Do they make Rogaine for babies?

Standing up, clapping, saying "bye-bye": He has, like, a masters degree in this stuff.

This would never happen to L.C.

The following story is true. The names have not been changed because, well, you know whose blog this is so you’d pretty much guess. Frank and I (and Leo, but he’s not really part of the story) were driving back from Hilton Head on Monday and Frank rolled down the windows. Not one to enjoy my hair flying in my face, I searched through my purse and found a headband:

Me: “Yeah! I found a headband!”
Frank: “Your L.C. headband?”
Me: “Right, like L.C. would wear a cloth grey headband. But yes, kinda like her.”
Then I put my hair in a pony tail and go to put on the headband. Problem-I can’t find it.
(Note: I’m going to stop writing “Me” and “Frank” in front of each line b/c I think you’re smart enough to follow).

"Where’s my headband? I just had it."

"Maybe you put it back in your purse."

I dig around in my purse, no headband.
I look under my legs, no headband.
I look on the floor, no headband.
Under the seat, in between the seats, in the glove compartment, in my shirt, in my pockets...no headband.

“This is so frustrating! I just had it!”

“Walk through what you did.”

“I got the headband out of my purse, set it in my lap, rolled up the window…”

“I bet it flew out the window.”

“Oh, no! You think it really flew out the window? I guess that could have happened but how would I miss that? No, I’m going to keep looking...I haven’t tried the back seat yet.”
Now I’m climbing around the backseat, wishing Leo could talk so he could tell me if it flew out the window. (I guess he’s sort of in this story.)

“I still can’t find it! It vanished! I’m gonna check my purse again.”

“Okay, but after that will you PLEASE stop looking! It’s just a headband!”

“But it’s so bizarre that one second I had it and the next, it’s gone!”

“You’re driving me crazy, looking for this headband! Just stop! Give up! I’m sure it flew out the window!”

“I’m driving you crazy? What about me? My neck hurts from looking for this headband, my arms hurt from digging through my purse. I’m exhausted!”

“So will you give up?”

“Yes, fine. But we’ll have to keep the windows up. Hope you’re happy!”

Five minutes of silence.

“Hey, Frank. I found my headband.”

“Where was it?”

Hat Chat

Hats and back packs rank second and third, respectively, after balls in the list of Leo's favorite things:

Sir Elton John and Suri Cruise: Not the same person

Frank is easily confused. Well, if it has to do with numbers, he is not confused (unless it’s “simple math” which does, in fact, confuse him). But when it comes to celebrities, my first statement is true. His problem is that he gets people mixed up.

I’ll say, “Hey, Rick Springfield is coming to town.” And he’ll say, “I know Bruce Springsteen.”

See, he never says, “Who is that?” or “What are you talking about?” Instead, he always says something he DOES know.

Me: “Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are so weird.”

Frank: “I know Michael Bolton and Katharine McPhee.”

The other day I made a comment about Diane Lane. He actually said, “I know Dane Cook.” I’m not sure he could have found two people more different. They’re of different genders and neither their first nor last names are the same. He might as well have said, “I know Rainn Wilson.”

But wait, there’s more:

When Everybody Loves Raymond first came out, he thought it was a TV show based on the movie Rain Man.

Okay, I have to stop before you start thinking Frank is a complete moron. Because while I know he isn’t totally celeb-savvy, sometimes I think he’s just messing with me. Like when I said, “I could really go for some Campbell’s Soup” and he said, “I know Campbell Brown.”

At least I hope he’s just messing with me. (I know Debra Messing.)

Life's a beach

You play hard...
...and then you crash.

Book Worm

While I packed up Leo's clothes and what-nots for our Memorial Day getaway trip, he busied himself by taking all of his books out of his cabinet and piling them up on the floor.

I first thought this was a sign of a literary genius but changed my mind when he started eating them.

"Now's the time on Sprockets when we dance"

That's what Frank said when he first saw Leo in these too-tight pajamas:



As you can see, they're very snug in the rear too:

If we keep him in these too long, he might consider figure skating as a career choice.

Dear Abby, you kinda suck

I love reading Dear Abby in the newspaper every day. In fact, sometimes I don’t even get a chance to read the “real” stories and I only read Abs. Someone will say, “Did you read that article about how they’re closing Guantanamo Bay?” and I’m all, “No, but I read the one from “Hear it All in NY” who found out that her friend was pregnant through an online group and then told the friend's husband and he didn't know!"

Here’s my system for reading Abs: I first review the problem and then I look up and ponder my own solution. I try to see if her solution is on par with mine. It’s usually not.

So that is why I think she kinda sucks.

For instance, yesterday she offered no help at all:

DEAR ABBY: My father is 83. My mother has been dead for more than 30 years. Since then, Dad has been involved with many women. But since he turned 70, he has become involved with men, which he says he finds very rewarding and much less complicated.
Dad and I always had an open and honest relationship. We have a lot of homosexual family members and friends. At the same time, I'm shocked that the fact he is gay has been so difficult for me to accept. Have you any suggestions on how I might better deal with this? -- CARING SON IN MIAMI
DEAR CARING SON: Your father appears to be bisexual, which means he is attracted to both men and women. Whereas he may not have wanted to admit to himself or to you years ago that he had feelings for people of the same sex, it is no longer shocking to be open about it. Times have changed. Today a person's sexual orientation is no longer considered something to be kept hidden.
One constructive way to "deal with it" would be to realize how fortunate you are to have the kind of relationship you have always had with your dad. Be supportive, don't judge and love him for the parent he has always been.

Huh? Do you think he’s really going to benefit from “be supportive, don’t judge…?” And what’s with the whole “times have changed” statement? The dude has lots of gay friends and family members. It’s not like he’s homophobic. He’s just weirded out that his dad is gay.

Here is what I would have said:

DEAR CARING SON: You’ve known your dad a long time so it’s normal to feel a little odd when he does something that, to you, seems out of character. You’d probably feel just as uneasy if he said he wanted to be a trapeze artist or if he decided to become Mormon. Give yourself a break. As long as you continue to be a caring son and don’t try to change him or ridicule his choices, you’re doing the best you can.

I mean, where did Abby get her training anyway? Does she think she can be an advice columnist just because she’s the daughter of an advice columnist? I don’t try to tell people I’m an economics teacher just because my mom was.



And whenever someone’s in an awkward, “how do I tell someone…?” situation, she always just has them say exactly what they said in the letter. Like the other day there was this couple who felt like this other couple wanted them to hang out too much. The writer of the letter told Abs that she has her own projects, friends and activities and she can’t spend every weekend hanging out with these people. Plus, she said that she’s annoyed by all the emails and texts she gets from the other couple.

What’s Abby’s brilliant answer?

It would not be rude to explain to Doreen that, as you so clearly stated in your letter, you "have your own projects, friends and activities" and "can't spend every single weekend" with them. You should also say that being snowed under with e-mails and texts makes you uncomfortable.


That’s a great plan, Abs, if the girl wants to hurt Doreen’s feelings and never hang out with them again. While she’s at it, maybe she could add, “By the way, I think your clothes are too tight, your house smells like bananas and you always have food in your teeth, Doreen.”

She's really just no help at all. But I love the probs. So people, you’re better off just sending your issues to Writinggal. Just nothing on supply and demand, please.

Not Always Sunny

A lot of people make the comment, "Leo looks like such a happy baby in your pictures. Does he ever cry?"

The answer is YES! Here are the things that set him off:

• When mommy or daddy leave the room
• When he wants to be carried but we put him down
• When his push toy runs into a chair, wall or person
• When he's carrying a dish towel while crawling and it gets caught under his leg
• When its naptime and he doesn't want to sleep
• When the food doesn't come fast enough
• And as demonstrated here in this video, when he can't get his hat on his head:

Rockin' Out

Leo and his friend John attended their first rock concert this week. Now they can tell their friends they've seen Bon Jovi. Actually, it was a Bon Jovi cover band--Slippery When Wet. But I'm pretty sure they didn't know the difference.

Jamming to my favorite song before the show:

Leo waved bye bye during Slippery When Wet's rendition of "Never Say Goodbye"

You know you're getting older when you're holding a sippy cup instead of a beer.
Simciks love Slippery When Wet!


"Yeah, Bon Jovi!"

Mama's Day

Leo has said "mama" and "dada" for awhile but never really to us. But right after his birthday he started pointing to Frank and saying "dada." He even did this for a crowd.

Crowd: "Leo, where is dada?"
Leo turns around and points to Frank.
The crowd goes wild.
Crowd: "Leo, where is mama?"
Crickets.

So he did this dada thing for about a week but no mama.

But since he's a guy who does major things on holidays, he had a big surprise in mind for me.

On Mother's Day while I was sitting at the computer and he was playing at my feet, he pulled up on my chair, pointed at me and said very clearly and deliberately, "MAMA." I cried. I ran to the baby book and jotted it down. And he's been saying it ever since. He just points at me and says "mama" over and over again. I love it!

I haven't captured it on video but here are a few pics from our mother's day picnic:

Pointing at his mama:




Future basketball player?


With some chick he picked up in the park:

Standing and eating! So coordinated!



I love his face here! It's like "What are you lookin' at?"

Unnecessary Quote Explanations

As you know, the “Stars, they’re just like US” section in my US Weekly is my favorite. Next comes the stories about celeb cover shoots: “Scarlett Johansson munched on grilled chicken and edamame while listening to Mary J. Blige tunes on her iPod.”

But my third favorite is “Loose Talk: what the stars said this week.” It’s quotes and pics of my celebrities, semi-celebrities and reality stars.

For some reason, though, US Weekly feels the need to offer these little explanations under the quotes. For instance, here’s one from a couple of weeks ago:

“Before I found Spencer, I had so much Chaos.” On finding peace in love, Heidi Montag.

Did we really need that “On finding peace in love” addition?

Here’s another:
“Hip-hop will be in a great place because I am back.” On planning to dominate the music genre, Eminem.

Thanks. I think he was pretty clear.

They put a UQE on Beyonce:

“My sister is the Twitter queen. She told me about the Twittering but I don’t get it. I feel like I’m really old. I’m like, What? I don’t understand. Just call me." On trying to bridge the generation gap, Beyonce.

It’s like US thinks we’re stupid or something. I guess some US readers might be. I mean, it’s not the New Yorker but it’s not the Enquirer either. Here’s a quote from me about the whole thing:

“I think US Weekly should take out their UQE and put more ‘Stars they’re just like US’ pictures in there. I love to see celebs pumping gas and picking up dog poop.” On how she would like to see the magazine change, Writinggal.

What a difference...

...a year makes!

Party like it's 2009

As Leo says (or was it Robbie Keen?) "The road goes on forever and the party never ends."