Pick my Email Quote

When I worked at an ad agency in Dallas, I used to get these emails from this guy in the audio/visual department that said:

Hey, your dub of commercial #N5776 is ready. Come get it.

-Steven
“Pay no attention to the man standing behind the curtain”

Or sometimes it would say something like:

Do you want a beta or VHS of that?

-Steven
“Pay no attention to the man standing behind the curtain”

I didn’t understand why he always added that statement after his name. Who was this man behind the curtain? What did he have to do with my video tape? And did it somehow relate to the Star Wars action figures that Steven kept in his cube? Or the trench coat he wore every day, even in the summer?

I was naïve back then. That was before email sign-off quotes become fashionable. Now everybody’s got one. Some are sentimental. Some are inspiring. Some are wacky.

Aunt Marilyn’s says: "There is no way of telling people they are all walking around shining like the sun." --Thomas Merton

My friend Cheri’s says: “Do you know the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing.” — Michael Cane

That’s from the movie The Weatherman and although I’ve never seen that movie, I remember liking the sound of that line just when I heard it in the trailer. However, I’m not sure the screenwriter would appreciate Michael Cane getting credit for it.

Readbecca’s is something about plastic things in her drink. I can’t locate it right now but I’m pretty sure it’s something like “Pardon me, waiter, but there aren’t enough plastic flamingos in my drink.” I think I’m wrong about the flamingos but you get the idea.

When my friends at Kolar in Austin were moving offices, they all had this email quote that said “We’ve moved downtown!!!” So I would get emails like:

Hey, that’s too bad about that bridge collapse that killed all those people.

WE’VE MOVED DOWNTOWN!!!!


Then there’s my manager at the YMCA:

Can you sub a cycle class tonight?

Positive thoughts Build and Inspire!!!!

How can I say no after that?

I know it’s been six years since I first saw an email quote but I think I’m ready to get me one. Hey, I’m a late adopter. I want mine to reflect me and my work and my personality and my life and my goals and my fears. And I want it to be relevant to everybody on my email list. Here are some ideas I had:


Writinggal Originals:

“If it were up to me, men would shave their armpits too.”

“Breakfast for dinner isn’t just for the poor anymore.”

“Fiber is my friend and it can be yours too.”

“No, I’m not Cyndi Lauper’s long lost twin.”


Semi-famous Quotes (crediting actors rather than actual creators of quotes where applicable):

“Use it or lose it!” –my grandma

“It’s a very important dance. We’re being graded on it.” –Molly Ringwald

“You’re going to be embarrassed when you realize I’m Wilmer Valderama.” –Seth Rogan

“Hope is not a plan” –Oprah Winfrey

“I’m not superstitious. I’m just a little stitious.” --Steve Carell

Mocking the email quote:

“This is my email quote.”

“Email quotes are for losers.”

“Email quotes are for lovers.”

“I believe email quotes can be inspirational, stimulating and profound. Mine is not one of them.”

“Email quote under construction. Coming Easter 2002.”


“I look forward to getting your feedback on my email quote!”

No, that’s not a quote. That’s just what I’m saying to you. It’s sort of like a command. Or a request. Don’t vote on that one.

Oh, it's monkies! Plastic monkies in her drink! That's Readbecca's quote. Don't vote on that either because it's already taken.