The other day Frank and I went to Chick-fil-A. We were planning on eating there and we easily got a parking spot even though it was during lunch hour. It’s not that this Chick-fil-A wasn’t busy. It was. It’s just that everybody was in the drive thru. In fact, if we had gotten in that line, it would have made a full circle around the building. Frank immediately said, “They must not have pants on!”
This is a theory of mine that dates back to 2000 when we used to go to CfA for Two for Tuesdays. I always wondered why anyone would get in the back of the never-ending drive thru line. Sure, it’s easier than getting out of your car but when the line is that long, it’s definitely not faster. I thought, “Certainly they’re not that lazy. They can’t be so sloth-like that they’d prefer to sit in their cars for an extra ten, maybe 15 minutes rather than walk an extra 47 steps round trip and order their food inside.”
So what could be stopping them? What could make someone so desperate to not get out of their car that they would subject themselves to that spiraling drive thru line? There was only one explanation.
They weren’t wearing pants.
They’re sitting there in their cars, some wearing button down shirts, suit jackets and a tie on top but nothing on the bottom. I suspect that they’re wearing shoes or else it would be uncomfortable to press the gas and brake. I can’t be sure if they’re wearing underwear but hopefully, for sanitary reasons, they are. But then again, these are people who don’t wear pants while driving so I guess anything’s possible.
If they would just put their pants on (or even shorts, a skirt or even a skort), they could proudly walk into any fast food establishment. (Well, maybe not if they’re wearing a skort unless it’s 1993.) Think of the time they’ll save. Sure, they’ll have to take a couple of extra minutes to put on their pants and maybe another 30 seconds for the belt but the time they’ll get back will be ten fold. Plus, they’ll take an extra 47 steps that day, multiply that over five times a week times 52 weeks a year, that’s an extra 12,220 steps a year! Just think of all the weight they’ll lose!
Although they are still eating at fast food places so that could come out even. It’s probably just as well; if they lost weight they’d have to get new pants and we all know that’s never gonna happen.
3 comments:
This is why I always wear pants to Chick-fil-a!
the one by my office always has long lines through the double drive through.
I run in and out before they get up to order at the box! I eat a waffle fry in from of them and laugh!
Yeah for pants!
Double drive thrus make it tough for the pantless people. They're tempted because there's another line yet having cars along side of them could reveal their exposed bottom halves.
Don't you think the people working the drive thrus get an eye full everyday? Especially those that aren't thinking about being sanitary.
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