Livin’ Like the Loyds

We don’t have cable in our new house yet. That means no TV. No internet. I’m writing this blog from the local library which is okay except they kick me off after an hour. Luckily, I’m a super fast typer.

Living without these two services has proved challenging. I told Frank, “It’s like we’re camping. No, it’s like we’re the Loyds!” The Loyds don’t have cable TV or the internet although they do have rabbit ears and a karaoke machine.

Once the Loyds came to our house to watch the NBA playoffs. After the Mavs won, sending them to the championship, I said, “You guys should come over again to watch the next game.” John Loyd said, “No, that’ll be on ABC.”


So now we’re living in a new city and if we want to make some new friends, we’re gonna need cable TV, that’s for sure. So what’s the hold up? Well it’s been one calamity after another with the cable company. (aside: I like the word “calamity.” My dad used it the other day and while I usually say “catastrophe” I thought I’d try a new one.)

Calamity #1: Friday, 3/30: Cable guy is running late. Can’t come to our house during scheduled 17-hour window. Waiting at home for him all day ends up being waste of time. Reschedule for ridiculously long window the following day.

Calamity #2: Saturday, 3/31: System is down so cable guy can’t install internet. Cable company calls to reschedule. “No!!” I scream at them. “I need it today! Send him out to at least install the TV.”

Calamity #3: Still Saturday, 3/31: Russian cable guy comes out. Climbs all over the house, can’t find wiring. Finds faulty wiring. I’m not really sure what he found/didn’t find but he kept mumbling to himself, sweating and I think swearing. Says he can’t install cable that day. Tear forms in my eye. Frank’s too.

Calamity #4: In effort to find correct wiring, cable guy cuts his thumb. Definitely swears. Frank screams for a band-aid. I scream back that I have a first aid kit just for these occasions but it’s packed up. We rip into boxes. Finally find band-aids. Too late. Cable guy has bled all over the house, including new carpet. Cable guy leaves after two hours, still bleeding and mumbling something that sounds like, “Gotta get out of this house…”

Tomorrow I’m set up for two more crazy-long windows: one in the morning for someone to fix the wiring and one in the late afternoon for someone to install. Hopefully all goes well without calamities and/or blood shed.

I’m starting to see why the Loyds opt not to mess with all this technology. If I can’t make this happen by tomorrow, I’m giving up and buying a karaoke machine.