Tough Guy

We already know Leo is not going to be tall. We're trying to toughen him up so he won't get picked on in school:


"Don't even THINK about shoving me into a locker!"

"That's right. I'm flexing my biceps. My friend John's got some too! You don't wanna mess with us."

Trend Alert: SOGs

This may not be the first place you go to get the latest news on fashion trends but remember, I’m the one who launched the shkirt revolution.

So you can definitely trust me when it comes to hot, little-known-but-soon-to-be-huge fad tips.

My current fave? SOGs. SOG stands for “Sunglasses Over Glasses.” I’ve started sporting them and from the curious looks people give me, I can tell you that they’re about to catch on.


First, let’s review the history of sunglasses/glasses accessories:

1987—Dwayne Wayne Glasses: Made popular by the character of the same name on TV’s A Different World, these glasses had shades directly over them which the wearer flipped up when indoors.

1994—Clip-Ons: Similar to the Dwayne Wayne glasses, these go right over your lenses but they don’t flip up. Instead, you remove them when you are indoors (or just afraid you’ll see someone you know).

1998—Prescription Sunglasses: A miserable failure. Too expensive. Too hard to keep up with. If you sit on these, it’s a disaster rather than just an inconvenience that can be remedied by a quick trip to Walgreens.

2002—Fit Over Sunglasses: Some claim that they wear these on motorcycles or for skiing but these giant specs are actually popular among Florida retirees.

2008—SOGs: Sure, they seem like Fit Over Sunglasses but the difference is, you don’t have to buy special glasses. You simply where whatever sunglasses you already have over your prescription glasses. Since they’re not large like the Fit Overs, you almost can’t tell the person is wearing two pairs of glasses.


And unlike the Fit-Overs, they fit great on your head. I personally love to double up with a pair over the head and a pair over the eyes: Sometimes I even triple up with a pair on the head and two on the eyes.

I never do two on the head. That would be silly.

Now don’t worry if you don’t wear prescription glasses. You can still be cool and wear SOGs. Just get some of those cheap glasses from Walgreens (Wow. Second mention. I swear I don’t get kick-backs from them) and put those under your regular sunglasses.

This solution is so much more flexible than the old ways: you can wear your aviators, your Hollywood styles, your cat-shaped glasses, whatever. You don’t want to be the last person with SOGs; get some for Christmas. Get them for the whole family! And the best part is, you may not have to get anything. You may have SOGs in your own home and you’re just not wearing them.

Please wear them.

Please wear them soon.

Oh, wait. Did that sound too desperate? Are you getting suspicious that I’m only pushing the SOG trend because I’ve been sentenced by my eye doctor to stay out of my contacts for another month (after two weeks already) and that I don’t know what else to do when I drive or go outside?

Because that is NOT the case! I’m going to keep wearing SOGs even after I can wear contacts again.

Trust me. They go great with a cute shkirt.

More Mommy Show

Leo still likes to watch me exercise. And yes, we are listening to the "Salsa Y Merengue" music station on digital cable.

He won't take this lying down

Leo can totally sit up on his own now. He doesn't have to hold his feet. He doesn't fall over. He holds his back nice and straight. He's very confident in his sitting up ability.

Mommy and Daddy, however, aren't there yet:

My Brain Runs on Electricity

Yesterday morning our electricity went out. It was around 6:15am and I was writing (natch). Suddenly the lights went out in my office but my computer stayed on. I thought, “The electricity must have gone out…but why is my computer still on?”

Thus started a stream of dumb thoughts (some of which I uttered out loud) that were caused by this power outage.

“Frank, why can’t I see the baby on the monitor anymore?”

“Because the electricity is out.”

“But the monitor has battery back-up! I unplugged it.” (Point Writinggal.)

“But his camera doesn't work without electricity.”

Oh.

“Why don’t you call the electric company to report the power outage?” suggested Frank.

That I could do. I just needed their number. It was in the files in the closet in my office. On the way there I must have tried to turn on three lights.

Then when I went to call them I noticed my cell phone battery was dying. Better plug it into the charger.

Oh, wait.

I used Frank’s cell phone.

After learning the whole area was out, I decided I was thirsty. I went to get a drink of water from the dispenser on the freezer door. It didn’t work.

That thing needs electricity too? Who knew? Not me.

Well that doesn’t mean I can’t eat breakfast. Cereal doesn't need electricity.

I opened the fridge to get the milk. It was dark. Ah! Everything’s going to go bad. I didn’t even think of that!

Frank said, “I hope Leo doesn’t get cold.”

“Why would Leo get cold?” I asked.

“Because the heater isn’t working.”
Great! Apparently the heater runs on electricity too!

At least I could still get some work done. My computer was still working (which I figured out was because it had battery power).

When I got back up to my office (with the help of a flash light), I decided to email my mom and tell her about this terrible power outage.

But get this: the internet requires electricity!

As Frank left for work he went to manually open the garage door. See, I wouldn’t think of that. I would just have hit the button and then been surprised when it didn’t open. It’s like I’m auto pilot. Or auto idiot.

I said, “I don’t want to have to lift the garage door again so I’m just going to put my car out in the driveway,” I said.

“That’s a really smart idea!” Frank said.

That’s right. Sometimes I’m smart despite the loss of electrical power. But luckily it came back on in an hour (because while you CAN take a shower without electricity, you cannot, as I discovered, blow dry your hair).

Leo, the vegetarian

Leo has quite a palette. In addition to breast milk, he also eats sweet potatoes, squash, carrots and peas. He likes all of them equally. Here are a few pics from this weekend when we introduced the green stuff:


"Peas rock!"

"Hey, why am I the only one eating this mush?"

"What? Haven't you seen a bald dude eat smashed peas before?"

Talkin' Back

This is Leo's favorite game:

Medieval and other time periods that make me queasy

Tips from Thea mentioned that she was going to Medieval Times. I told her that I went a long time ago and didn’t like it. I added that this shouldn’t change her expectations, though, because I don’t like to eat and what people dressed from that time period.

“So Jerry Springer and Medieval Times?” she asked, referring to my other nausea-inducing program.

“Actually, there are a lot of time periods that I can’t eat and look at,” I told her and together we made a list:

Baroque. I appreciate that the paintings are pretty but I don’t want to have a meal and face one of them.

Victorian: There was an incident at the Moody Mansion in Galveston…

The dark ages: Who likes that one anyway?

And ooh, the Renaissance. That might be the worst! I never had any desire to go the Reinnasance festival in Houston. Eat a turkey leg while watching people in Shakespearian garb? No thanks.

Then Thea asked, “What about Little House on the Prairie?”

“Actually, I’m okay with Laura Ingalls Wilder,” I told her. We then figured out that my issues are really more with anything prior to 1900. After that I’m cool.

I mean, I CAN eat and look at historical art and costumes but for some reason the food just doesn’t taste as good. That must be why I didn’t gain weight in Europe.

But it looks like Thea and co. enjoyed themselves at Medieval Times:


What a brave girls! I admire them.


Although I’d rather eat at Medieval Times than during an episode of Jerry Springer any day.

Cold Theory

I sniff a lot. And when I do people ask, “Oh, do you have a cold?”

I always say “No, I just sniff a lot.” But here’s what I’ve decided: I don’t really believe in colds. I never diagnose myself with one.

Leo’s doctor asked the other day if Leo had ever had a cold.

“No,” I said.

But there was that time he had a runny nose. And there have been days where I’ve had to extract lots of boogers. But does that mean he has a cold? Not to me. I mean, does having a runny nose and feeling tired really need a name? Can’t you just feel that way?

And that’s when I came up with my big cold theory. Here is a replay of what went on in my brain:

Maybe there’s no such thing as a cold!
Yes, of course! That’s why they can never find a cure.
And they’re always calling it “the common cold.” Well if it’s so common then maybe it’s not something that needs a name. Like if you feel sad because you saw a homeless person, does that need a name? Or if your hair just happens to look bad one day, is there a name for that? Well, I guess that’s a bad hair day. But still, you don’t try to look for drugs to cure it.
But then again, people seem to pass colds from one person to another. They say you “catch cold.” So that makes it seem like a real disease.
But maybe we just think we catch colds. Maybe it’s such a common state of being that lots of people seem to have colds at once, but really they just have some symptoms.
I bet it's a conspiracy by the cold medicine companies. And the doctors. And kids who want to stay home from school. And probably terrorists.

Okay, so my theory isn’t completely solid but I know this: I don’t get colds. And maybe you don’t either.

I think I'm onto something here; I’ve just gotta get more information. No matter what it takes, I’m gonna sniff it out!

Best Week Ever

Leo is growing and changing so quickly, I had to tell him, "Slow down! That's too many blogs!"

So I decided to combine a few events and tid bits into one blog. Here are a few things that have happened to Leo in the last seven days:

He experienced his first Halloween as a lion. I tried to explain to him about trick or treating: "See, you go to the door and you say 'trick or treat' but don't worry about the trick because they always choose treat..." and then I realized it doesn't make a lot of sense.

He tried "real" food. That is, if you consider smashed up sweet potatoes real food:

He made faces like he didn't like it but kept opening his mouth for more.

A neighbor gave us this jumpy swing which is his new favorite apparatus.

He continued to practice sitting up. He can do it for a couple of minutes and then he "falls down and goes, 'boom!'" (which is a cute thing mommy says to him).



And he got his first pair of jeans (thanks, Tia Kristin!)

Patriotic Baby

At the polls this morning I told Leo that we were doing our civic duty. When we got home I realized he must have thought I meant "doodie."

A Quarter Pounder of a Halloween

I’m not so great at coming up with Halloween costumes. I blame it on my lack of craftiness (to which I also blame my failures as a Michael’s employee).

But in 1996 I had a good plan. I was working at the University of Texas Annual Fund office, where we called alums and asked them to donate money to the school Wait…not donate…contribute. We were trained that “donate” was a bad word. By the way, we also had these codes we had to put in the computer for “reasons alum didn’t contribute.” Here were a few:

RICH: UT is too rich already
ATH: I already give to athletics
EX: I already give to Texas Exes
MAD: I’m mad at UT about something
LIB: UT is too liberal.

We had comebacks for all of these although I can’t remember how we overcame the liberal one.

Anyway, at this particular job I wore a head set. One day it occurred to me that drive thru employees wore similar headsets and that’s when I decided I would be a McDonald’s worker for Halloween. Now I had the headset and the khaki pants. I just needed an authentic McDonald’s shirt.

About a week before Halloween I went into the McDonald’s on campus and told the person behind the counter, “I want to be YOU for Halloween!” I thought he would be flattered but he just looked confused. I asked him if I could have a shirt. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even offer to pay for it. (Hey, we didn’t make all that much hitting up alums for money.) The guy said he would ask his manager. He did. She said no.

I was bummed. I figured I would have to come up with another Halloween costume that involved a headset. I thought about just wearing the headset and saying I was a telemarketer. But that’s kind of just like going as myself. It’s like going as “sorority girl.”

All this thinking about McDonald’s got me hungry for the golden arches so later that night my friends and I took a trip through their drive-thru.

(Aside: Tips from Thea, you were driving! Remember?)

I was sitting in the back seat so I didn’t even see who was working the drive-thru but apparently it was my buddy from earlier that day. After he handed Thea our food and she passed it around the car he said, “Wait!” and he handed her a big McDonald’s bag and said, “Just go! Just go!” So we drove off before we looked in the bag. “I think it’s a side salad!” I remember Thea saying.

But it wasn’t. It was a McDonald’s shirt! And not just a t-shirt, a nice polo-style shirt. It sort of smelled but still, it was the real deal!

So my costume was complete. But the story didn’t end well: we all went to a fraternity foam party for Halloween and as it turned out, that was the year that girls decided Halloween was code for “dress like a slut.” Since I had on the most conservative costume at the party, I felt like a dork. Plus, there was a lot of explaining about how I didn’t actually work at McDonald’s. “I swear, this shirt was just donated to me! I mean contributed!”

Lucky for you, I've got a scanner so you can see for yourself!

I'm wet from the foam, not sweating in my McDonald's outfit.

See what I mean about girls dressing like sluts? Tips from Thea, there you are in the background in an equally conservative jail bird costume!

Leo's been here six months

That's half a year!

Here are the amazing things Leo can do:

-Just today he's decided he has lots to say. In addition to babbling "mamamama" he can now babble "dadadadada" and "blah blah blah." I think that if you asked him what mommy talks about he'd say, "blah blah blah blah."

-He's still working on sitting up. He can do it but I like to stay close by.

-He rolls from back to tummy and tummy to back. He likes to sleep on his tummy now.

-His favorite apparatus is the activity mat with the jumpy swing coming in a close second. Right now he's on the activity mat and he's a little frustrated because he rolled onto his tummy and now he can't see the dangly things.

-He's still a fan of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

-If he was stranded on an island he would definitely want to have Good Night Moon, But not the Hippopatamus and Leo the Late Bloomer.

-He smiles at everyone; he's very non-judgmental. He does get especially excited when daddy

comes home though.

-He cracks up laughing when we rub Aquaphor on his neck.

-He likes bath time.

-He eats rice ceral and oatmeal and will start "real" food next week. He's fascinated by our food to the point that we can't eat in front of him unless he's eating too.

-If you hold him you must be standing up. Sitting down is not allowed.

-He's excited about Halloween tomorrow because he's going to be a lion.

Pictures from his six-month check-up today where the doctor described him as "wonderful" and I agreed:

Getting his vision tested. He wasn't sure about this pirate patch!

Sitting up all by himself!

"Mommy, why are you so far away? I might need you to catch me!"

"Are you sure this thing is accurate?" He weighed 17 pounds, 6 oz.

"This can't be right! Can I get a recount?"

Cabinet Confusion

Frank, when I said, "It would be cool to have see-through cabinets, maybe even just one," this is not what I had in mind:

Cuteness runs in the family

I don't mean to brag but if you bought a picture frame and this shot was in it, you wouldn't think it was weird. In fact, you might think, "I'm going to keep this adorable family in the frame because they are way cuter than my own family."

We had a photo shoot with Frank's side of the family and the whole thing was saved by a game of Peekaboo. Every time you see Leo smiling and/or laughing it's because someone is behind the photographer, making a fool of himself, holding up a blanket, jumping up and down and screaming, "Peekaboo!"

And since I didn't get her permission to post these on my blog I want to give a big shout out to the amazing photographer who took these: Kimberley with Slice of Life Photography in Katy, TX http://www.asliceoflifecreativephotography.com/

Because really, we're not always this cute.

Nobody puts baby in the corner!

But he sometimes puts himself there. Now that Leo can roll over, he likes to sleep on his stomach. And not just in the middle of the crib (where we put him), he likes to inch his way into the corner and stay huddled there all night.

This is where I found him yesterday morning when he woke up:

(And he's in his sleep sack, not a sleeveless evening gown as it may appear).

Jamma Jamma Jamma Jamma Jamma P.J.!

The paper says it's a "dreary day" here in Atlanta. It's cold and rainy. Do you know what that means? We get to wear our PJs all day! Well, actually, only Leo gets to wear his PJs because we have a no-pajama-policy here at Writinggal.

Leo likes this book called "Pajama Time" and in it there's this little cheer that goes, "Jamma Jamma Jamma Jamma Jamma P.J.!"

So when I told Leo that it was too rainy for us to go on a walk outside he was bummed. But when I told him he could wear his pajamas all day and I sang the P.J. cheer, he got really comfortable with the idea:

As Frank always says, "It's good to be Leo James!"

Reindeer Games

I often wake up in the middle of the night and say crazy things. Rather than just telling me to go back to sleep, Frank plays along. So if I suddenly sit up out of a sound sleep and say, “The corn tastes like peas!” Frank will say, “Why do you think it tastes like that? Did you accidentally make peas instead of corn?”

Or if I say, “Save the cheerleader, save the world” after a particularly spooky episode of Heroes, he’ll say, “Are you gonna save the cheerleader? What’s your special power?”

None of these are even close to real examples because it’s all sort of foggy to me. All I know is that I say something that I think is completely coherent and legitimate and Frank chuckles because he knows I’m not making any sense. When he comes back with his silly questions, I get really frustrated and become more adamant about proving my sanity.

But I do remember one night a couple of years ago when I said something crazy, Frank responded and then I came back with, “I’m not gonna play your reindeer games!”

“My reindeer games?” he asked, laughing.

“Yes, you’re trying to trick me! And I know what I’m talking about!” I said.

Lately my middle-of-the-night outburts have been about Leo. I always think he’s there in the room and more specifically, caught up in the covers somewhere. I’ll wake up and frantically toss all the covers off the bed, searching for him. In reality, he’s sleeping in his crib in another room and Frank usually has to direct me to the monitor to assure me of this.

Last night I said something like, “When you pick up the baby, make sure you’re careful not to drop his limbs!”

Frank said, “What? Don’t take him to Grandma Lib’s?”

I said, “I know what I’m talking about. I’m awake. I just want to make sure you don’t drop the baby.”

“Elsa, where is the baby?” Frank asked. “Did you check the monitor?”

“Yes. I know he’s not in here. I’m just saying to be careful when you hold him,” I said (actually still thinking he was in the room).

“But you said something crazy about Grandma Lib,” Frank insisted.

“No, I said his limbs! His limbs! Don’t drop him or he’ll hurt his limbs!” I insisted, and then realized that I wasn’t making any sense and felt silly.

Frank came back with, “Hey, don’t think I’m gonna play your reindeer games!”

Another "almost-milestone" from Leo

On your mark, get set...

Leo fools me sometimes and acts as if he's going to crawl. He gets in this position and I say, "Come on, Leo!"

Then he just kinda falls over.

And actually, I'm okay with that. Just as long as he's mobile by the time he goes to kindergarten.