Kind of Confusing

I'm realizing that I say "kind of" in front of words for emphasis. For instance, if you ask me how my pizza is, I might say, "It's kind of amazing." Or if I'm talking about how smart my child is, I might say, "He's kind of a genius." It only goes with descriptions that are already extreme (like amazing and genius). The "kind of" both softens it and adds to it.

Like I wouldn't say that my pizza was "kind of delicious." Delicious isn't that extreme of a word so the "kind of" doesn't work there. I wouldn't say my kid is "kind of smart." It doesn't have the same effect. Does that make sense?

Well, I'm glad it makes sense to you because it absolutely does not make sense to the staff at Target.

I was in line there the other day (well, pretty much every day) and the teenage cashier was telling the couple in front of me about the Target Red Card. As you know, I'm kind of obsessed with the Target Red Card. (See what I did there?) I could see that the couple in front of me was considering it but needed an extra push. I didn't want them to not get the TRC just because they were worried about holding me up. So I decided to help them and the cashier by saying, "It's kind of awesome."

The cashier kid quickly corrected me and said, "It's more than KIND OF awesome. It IS awesome."

The couple decided not to get the card because they wanted to do a debit but didn't have their checkbook. After they left I told the dude, "That's too bad. I tried to help you out." He said, "No worries. Sometimes people just don't have time." But he didn't look up or profess his thanks to me for trying to score him some commission. Kind of atrocious behavior, right?

So the next time I was at Target (alright, it was probably the very next day), the topic of the Red Card came up with my cashier. This time it was a teenage girl. I told her I already had one and then I shared my little story of how I tried to help this other cashier out by saying it was "kind of awesome" to the customers. I told her that the guy didn't seem very happy about it.

She said, "It's probably because you said it was 'kind of' awesome. We're pretty sensitive to people insulting the Red Card."

Woah. Wait a minute, sissy. Me? Insult the TRC? I'm kind of like its BEST customer (except I always pay it off every month and they probably prefer people who let the interest rates accumulate). Still, I'm its biggest advocate. I'm the one who's insulted!

But until she said that, I did not realize that the first teenage cashier didn't get my "kind of" lingo. Then I understood that certain groups of people--especially the young and/or the dumb--just aren't capable of grasping the concept.

I told this to Frank and he said that he totally got it. "It's obvious from how you say it too," he said. And Frank's not biased. He will totally call me out if he doesn't agree with me. He's kind of obnoxious about it in fact.

So I'm not going to delete "kind of" from my vernacular. I just won't go to Target anymore. Just kidding. That would be kind of insane.