Christmas Slackers

Perhaps you're tired of my rants--via verbal communication as well as social networking--about people who keep their Christmas decorations up past the pointof polite. But I feel a blog on the topic is necessary. Here's why:

I notice that the feedback I get is sometimes favorable towards the accused. I hear things like, "Well, sometimes people leave their decorations up until after MLK Day because that's when the college kids go back after Christmas break" or "Maybe they really love Christmas!" or "What's the big deal?"

I would like to address each of these counterpoints to illustrate why they are all (pardon my bluntness) wrong.

1. People leave their decorations up until after...I've heard it all--Three Kings Day, Epiphany (okay, just learned those are the same), the first full weekend in January, Valentine's Day, etc.

So how long is too long? Personally, I like mine down on New Year's Day. However, I don't expect everyone to have theirs down by then: between December 26th and January 6th (Epiphany) is an acceptable window. (But I would like to add that I did not start ranting until January 14th so the Epiphany argument at that point was still wrong as Epiphany had passed.)

2. So is it possible they just love Christmas? No. It IS possible that they choose to leave their lights up and try to say they are festive. And some lights really do qualify as "party lights," like these:

These, however, are only festive for about 40 days.

The people I'm complaining about don't even have lights. They have wreaths. A wreathe on every window--four--and then a giant wreath hanging on the front of their house. Then they've got some yard decor plus a little mailbox panache. Oh, and some ribbons on a potted plant. They put it up about two weeks before Thanksgiving (early birds are annoying but not as bad as slackers) and somehow, they found the time, energy and equipment with which to display their Christmas spirit. Now why can they not seem to find that same gumption when it comes time to take them down? How do they not just rip that big red bow off the mailbox every time they go retrieve their letters? And what about the stuff in the potted plant? Can't untie it on your way in once? Sure, the wreaths are tough but that one on the top of the house is now tattered and tilted. Just one trip up the ladder and it would be gone.

But no, as I write this, that giant wreathe is STILL there! It is February 3rd!! These people don't like Christmas. They don't have a plan. They are just plain lazy. Lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy.

3. What's the big deal? It's kind of like when I went to that doctor's office and they had the August calendar up and it was, like, November. What does it say about them? How tuned out of life are they? If these people aren't taking down their Christmas decorations, what else aren't they doing? What does the inside of their home look like? Is the tree still up? Is it a mess? And what about their own personal hygiene? Are they bathing? Or do they just forget to bathe? Oh, I know: "some people only bathe after six days..." or "maybe they just love to stink" or "what's the big deal?"

If my ranting doesn't work then I have a new plan. I am going to keep all my Groundhog Day decorations up for as many days as they have kept their Christmas decorations. And I LOVE me some Puxatony Phil...even if I have to look at him in May!