Things I wish I liked: Starbucks

I’m going to start a new series here on the WG blog. I call it “Things I wish I liked.” At first I thought it would just be one blog—a list of all the things I wish I liked. But then I realized that many of these things required more explanation. I’ll probably spread them out and write a “thing I wish I liked” once a week. Or maybe I’ll do some back-to-back TIWILs. Today I’m going to explain why I wish I liked Starbucks:

When I go out walking in the morning I pass a Starbucks. People look like they’re having so much fun there. They’re sitting outside, sipping their coffee out of those paper cups. Sometimes they even take their coffees to the park and just stroll and sip. Stroll and sip. It looks so pleasant.

Plus, the few times I’ve been in Starbucks it seems like such a warm, comfortable place. I would totally want to hang out there. I even have a password to use their wi-fi. Oh, and I can't forget the celebs: The Afflecks, Brit, the cast of Grey's...they're all there.

The problem is, I don’t like coffee. If forced, I get their creamy, high-calorie, froo-froo drinks. I never know what to order but I think I’m supposed to say “skinny.” But I think skinny just means no whip. And I like whip. So should I say fat?

It’s all so confusing.

Side note: Once Frank’s boss took him to Starbucks for a one-on-one meeting. Frank didn’t know what to order so he got chocolate milk. Nothing says ‘professional’ like sipping chocolate milk through a straw.

So in summary, I don’t like coffee, I think their whole menu is confusing and their prices are ridiculous. Plus, what’s with ‘tall’ really meaning ‘small?” Total scam. Bottom line, I don’t like Starbucks.

But I wish I did.

Next up: Golf.