Shopper Protection Program

I'm still on blog maternity leave but I had something I wanted to quickly vent about:

Has this been happening to you more and more when you go shopping?

Clothing Store Employee: Okay, so you're getting one skirt, one top and two pairs of pants. Will this be all?

You: Yes.

CSE: Great. Can I get your phone number?

You: Oh, that's very flattering but I'm not single...and I'm not gay...

CSE: No, we just need to get your phone number so you can buy the clothes.

You: Um, okay. 555-blah blah blah.

CSE: And can I get your address?

You: Um, I guess...blah blah blah...

CSE: And your email address?

You (frustrated but not wanting to cause a scene in the middle of Ann Taylor, Old Navy, Chico's or whatever your apparel store of choice is): I suppose so...it's...

And then you finally pay and you wonder why you can't just BUY something without having to give out all your personal information.

I invite you to join me in the Shopper Protection Program. We in the SPP demand to make purchases anonymously. We have three approaches:

1. Question all their questions:
Why do you need my phone number?
Why do you need my address?
Why do you need my email?

They will usually say it's just for the records and they won't call you, mail junk to you or spam you. You come back with, "Well then why do you need it?"

This approach is good because it challenges the whole system. The downside is that it's time consuming and scene provoking.

2. Lie:
Just give them fake information. Have fun with it. Give a funky name like, um, Funky Medina or use a celebrity name like Angelina Jolie. Give a fake number, fake address and fake email (something weird like paula.abdul.number.one.fan@hotmail.com)

3. Play like you're technologically inept. (This is the one I do the most.)
I don't have a phone. What's email?

Together, we can win back our right to make simple transactions. Just join the SPP by utilizing one of the approaches. I'd also like to start collecting dues...but I don't want to give you my address.