Social Politician

There's a lady in Frisco who is on the prowl. She's looking for friends for herself and her family and she won't stop until she finds some. She's at the playgrounds (all of them), at the mall, at the library, at preschool, at church. Nobody is safe from her. She usually starts with, "So...how old is she?" pointing to your child. Then, after she gets you to open up a little, she comes at you with the "we just moved here" angle. Then, come to find out, she's not really a newcomer; she was just gone for awhile. "But we're brand new to Frisco," she says. "Feels like a whole new world!"

Okay, if you haven't figured it out yet, this lady is me. This making friends business is a lot of work! It involves approaching people, smiling non-stop, asking questions and remembering names. That is why I liken it to being a politician. It's like, "Choose me! Vote for me to be your friend! I'm fun. I like to drink wine...unless you don't. But then again, if you don't, I'm not sure this is going to work out." I could compare it to dating but I want lots of friends, not just "the one."

And I not only have to make friends for me, but for the kids and Frank too! See, Frank is too busy to make friends and even if he wasn't, he's just not willing to put in the effort. Then there's Leo. He will only play with a new friend if I go up and introduce him and give them an idea of what to play: "Hi, what's your name, little boy? How old are you? Well, this is Leo and he's four and a half. He LOVES to play tag. Do you like to play tag? You're it!" Gus, who can't even talk yet, might be the second best friend maker in our family. He went up to a little girl his age at the playground and poked her belly button. She loved it. Instant friends.

Whenever I consider whether to go somewhere or not, I have to give myself a little pep talk: "You gotta get out there! You're never going to meet people sitting on the couch." (Like a mom of two little boys ever gets to sit on the couch but still, you know what I mean). So yesterday I went lots of places and met plenty of constituents (I mean potential friends) along the way. Here is a conversation I had with Frank about it:

Me: I had a very socially productive day.
Frank: What did you do?
Me: After preschool drop-off I took Gus to the park. I met a mom there who has a kid Gus' age and a kid Leo's age and the older one goes to the same preschool.
Frank: Score.
Me: I know! And she said that she was organizing a play date for her son's class. I am totally going to do that too!
Frank: You should.
Me: I will! Then I went to story time at the library with Gus and this one lady kept talking to me. I thought she might be a potential friend. But then she mentioned that this kid she was with wasn't hers; she was her nanny.
Frank: Fooled by the nanny again!
Me: I know, right? Then Gus and I went to the playground by our house and I met this other mom who has two little girls, one Gus' age and one who is three.
Frank: Sounds like potential.
Me: Yes, and I talked to another nice nanny who I've met before.
Frank: So many nannies!
Me: Well, they might be too young to be my friends but the kids they take care of could be Leo and Gus' friends. So then I went to pick up Leo at preschool and I told a few of the moms in his class about the play date idea.
Frank: Did they like it?
Me: They weren't like jumping up and down but they snub me either. Then I took the boys to the playground at preschool (Gus' THIRD playground that day! He's working as hard as I am!) and I facilitated a game of hide and seek for Leo and two of his classmates. I also chatted up another mom while I was at it.
Frank: Wow, you've been busy today.

Being new is exhausting. And it's not enough just to meet people once or twice; I have to see them and talk to them consistently. That's when I can take it to the next level: "So are you on Facebook?" or "Let me put your number in my phone so we can get together. Do you text?"

Maybe I will start passing out business cards or bumper stickers: "A vote for Elsa is a vote for the whole Simcik family! Four friends for the price of one!" or "Become Elsa's friend. She won't stop until you do."