I think J. Lo's anthem is responsible for launching a lot of songs with this theme: “I know I’m awesome. I know I’m totally rich, totally famous, I can buy whatever I want but hey, I’m still the same person. I still put my diamond-embossed pants on one leg at a time.”
I’m over it.
Take Fergie’s Glamorous:
We flyin' first class
Up in the sky
Poppin' champagne
Livin' the life
In the fast lane
And I won’t change
By the Glamorous,
Oh the flossy flossy
She won’t change, she says. Except then the token rapper in her song comes in with, “If you ain’t got no money take your broke ass home!” Sounds to me like you think you’re too good for your poor friends now, Ferg-o. What's the matter? They not flossy enough for ya? (Flossy, by the way, means flashy and showy. I had to look that up in the urban dictionary. That’s how unflossy I am.)
My favorite part is when Fergalicious says she still goes to Taco Bell no matter how many records she sells. Well, duh, I would too. When you’re rich it’s the best time to go to Taco Bell! And the awesome part is, when you stop selling records you can still go there. It’s an equal opportunity establishment.
Now I expect this type of behavior from J. Lo and Fergs but then Faith Hill had to go and do a country version of this tired theme:
Cause a Mississippi girl don't change her ways
Just cause everybody knows her name
Ain't big-headed from a little bit of fame
I still like wearing my old ball cap
Ride my kids around piggy back
They might know me all around the world
But y'all I'm still a Mississippi girl
Hey, y’all, she still wears a baseball cap! Now that’s totally slummin' it. And how kind of her to play with her kids even though she’s so rich and famous.
What do these singers want, some kind of prize? I’d even be inclined to give them one if they actually displayed some sort of “every-man” behavior. Like there’s an actor (I can’t remember which one) who drives some really cheap, old car (can’t remember which kind).
But let’s say it’s John Cusack and he drives a 1998 Chevy Malibu. Now that would be great material for a song. It could go like this:
I was the guy who held up the boom box
Everybody loves that movie; it totally rocks
Even though I’m a busy actor, makin’ lots of dough
I never forget that I’m just a poor kid from Chicago
People ask me why I don’t buy some beach house under the sun
I say, “I don’t live in Malibu, I drive one!”
Speaking of cars, I forgot that the Taco Bell part of Fergie’s Glamorous is actually my second favorite. This is my real favorite:
After the show or after the Grammies
I like to go cool out with the family
Sippin', reminiscing on days when I had a Mustang
A Mustang? Come on. You don't even know about crappy cars! I had a Crown Victoria. My friend Kristin had some brown and gold Chevy that couldn't make left turns. I remember when a guy at my high school got a Mustang and he suddenly went from total dork to semi-cool. He seriously had the best car in the parking lot. So no props for you, Ferg. That ride's practically flossy.
2 comments:
Ohhh! The Crown Vic! Nice. It didn't have A/C, right? I remember that car.
Maybe Faith Hill needs to stop on over to Brit's house and give her some rich-person-parenting tips.
I think it did have A/C actually. My Civic, however, didn't most of the time.
But poor Kristin. It takes a lot of time to plan alternative routes that don't involve left turns!
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