A Star Wars Summer

With the seventh episode of Star Wars set to hit theaters in only six+ months, we are in FULL STAR WARS MODE around here. It's all Star Wars, all the time. Gus is a major fan and he is not even four. In fact, we are having a Star Wars/Summer theme for his birthday party. I am re-using some of the things Leo had for his SIXTH Star Wars birthday. I tell ya, the fans get younger and younger.

We went to Target to buy some floats for the pool last week and they went bonkers over these Stormtrooper kick boards. And then of course we couldn't pass up the Star Wars t-shirts. Three funny things about these:

1. They are wearing the same size.

2. They begged to put them on at the store and I made them wait until we paid. Then they took off their existing shirts and changed right into these by the entrance of Target.

3. They wore them all weekend and Gus already got a hole in his. I was able to exchange the dirty, tag less, shirt with a hole in it for a new one! (The boys are lucky their mom is Target's #1 customer.)

When we bought this gear the cashier said, "Oh, Star Wars…Luke Skywalker, Dr. Spock…" (Um, isn't Spock from Star Trek and isn't Dr. Spock a parenting expert? I can totally think snide comments like this because I am becoming a Star Wars expert myself. But this wasn't always the case.) 

They are also crazy for these Star Wars graham crackers. Sometimes they even eat them!

Today I bought more Star Wars accessories for Gus' party. Cause let's be honest, I didn't really save that much from Leo's. Somewhere in a mansion overlooking an infinity pool, George Lucas is chuckling laughing with his servants at us.

Magical May

Leo had an awesome birthday party with a magician who knows how to crack up 5-7 year olds. Everyone had a great time and bonus: I kept them all contained in our basement and backyard! That was on May 2nd, then on May 22nd, Leo had his last day of Kindergarten. 

For both events, he wore his favorite "Kindergarten is Awesome" t-shirt, of course! 

Leo's Been Here SEVEN Years!

Wow, it's hard to believe that Leo has been driving us crazy making us laugh for seven years. Here is what he had to say during an in-depth interview: 

1.   What is your favorite color? Red

2.   What is your favorite toy? My little brother

3.   What is your favorite fruit? Apples

4.   What is your favorite TV Show? Star Wars

5.   What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Quesadillas

6.   What is your favorite outfit? What I’m wearing now, track pants and a Darth Vader t-shirt

7.   What is your favorite game? Pirateopoly

8.   What is your favorite snack? Quaker bar

9.   What is your favorite animal? Lion of course

10.  What is your favorite song? I don’t have one

11.    What is your favorite book? Star Wars books

12.     Who is your best friend? John

13.      What is your favorite cereal? Cheerios

14.       What is your favorite thing to do outside? Play

15.        What is your favorite drink? Sprite  

16.         What is your favorite holiday? Halloween and Christmas

17.                What do you like to take to bed with you at night? I don’t have one  

18.    What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Pancakes

19.      What is your favorite thing to eat for dinner? Quesadillas

20.       What do you want to be when you grow up? A soldier

What a difference...

…seven years makes!

Contagious yet Energetic

It's a bad combination. My kids seem healthy but they are too contagious to go anywhere. Here is how this debacle started:

I lost my voice this weekend. I had no other symptoms though. But by Monday night I did. My throat hurt so bad it felt like it was totally closed up. I also felt really tired and just, you know, sick.

Also on Monday I noticed the kids had these bumps around their mouths. Gus' looked like a bug bite on his chin and Leo's looked like three tiny pimples above his lip. This looked suspicious to me and since I fancy myself a doctor, I diagnosed them with impetigo.

So Tuesday morning we all schlepped to the doctor. What an ordeal this was! I went to Walgreen's, my energetic entourage in tow, to see the doc in the box. I brought along a DVD player but forgot to charge it. So they amused themselves by taking flattering pictures of me during my exam:

 When the doc diagnosed me with strep I wasn't surprised (because I had already diagnosed myself with it) and relieved (because I knew I could get drugs to knock it out). Then we went to the pediatrician where the boys were diagnosed with impetigo (as if I didn't already know).

But the doc also tested them for strep, since I was positive. To my surprise, these perfectly healthy, insanely hyper boys tested positive too. When we were checking out and the boys were bouncing all over the "sick" side of the waiting room, I said to the lady in front of me. "They have strep throat. Can you believe it?" She could not. She could believe that I did because I sounded like a smoking frog.

So we all had strep throat. But I was the only one who felt crappy.

It really is the worst case scenario.

My sister-in-law Laura summed it up best: sick mom, working dad and contagious kids who feel fine.

So I couldn't send Leo to school. I couldn't send Gus' to a friend's house. And I couldn't rest because they wanted me at 100% capacity. I even resorted to begging, "Can you guys just please go easy on me? I am really sick!" But no, if they dropped something n the car, they would still scream until I could pull over to pick it up. They weren't letting anything slide.

And they were hungry! Sick kids aren't supposed to be hungry. So I had to make meals and dole out snacks and clean up after them.

I now truly understand the phrase, no rest for the weary.

The doc had told me they had to be out of school Tuesday AND Wednesday since they would have started the antibiotics about 11am and you have to wait 24 hours before sending them back to school. But when I called the doctor's office today to get a note for Leo's school, the nurse said he actually could have gone back today since he didn't have a fever.

What?! Now you tell me!

But the bumps on his face are in that stage where they look worse before they get better. So I'm afraid he may have been shunned if he went today. Also, he calls the bumps "warts," so I need to set him straight on that before he returns.

Gus' looks worse than it is because some of it is jelly. It's an occupational hazard.

I am perfectly happy (mostly) to keep a sick kid home and take care of him. But keeping a sick yet healthy kid home (especially when you are sick AND sick) is just cruel. And two of them? That's just a "sick" joke.

Leo Says (and does) the Darndest Things

Everyday Leo gets off the bus and reports whether or not he received a sticker (which means he was good at school). Well, he actually only announces it if he DID get a sticker. If he didn't, he says nothing and I know immediately that he got the opposite of a sticker…A CODE.

A code is a letter which corresponds to the rule that the child broke like "A" for not following directions or "D" for not keeping parts to himself. (I guess they felt like "hands, feet and objects" didn't really cover it all.)

So today he told me that he got a sticker and then told me about how "less than seven kids got a sticker." He said that a lot of kids got into trouble for being loud and the teacher said she was going to have to write lots of codes on their behavior sheets.

Then Leo announced: "Sign language leads to whispering; whispering leads to talking; talking leads to yelling and yelling leads to codes."

"That's true, Leo," I said. "Is that what your teacher said?"

"I made it up," he said. "It sounds like something Yoda would say, doesn't it?"

I thought it was smart AND hilarious!

And speaking of smart and hilarious, Leo has made his most impressive creation with tape yet. He attached the Cozy Coupe to the wagon using only Scotch tape and shockingly, it worked! That kid puts a lot of faith in Scotch tape. The people at 3M would be fools not to hire him.

Where Would Jesus Park?

One of the things I did not like about our last neighborhood (which I mostly loved) was that there were so many cars parked on the street. Now, I am someone who particularly hates cars parked on the street. To me, it represents everything I hate about hoarders:

No room in your garage for your car cause it's stuffed with crap = parking on the street 

It was bad. There were usually 19 cars down our street at one time. (Yes, every day I counted.) When we first went to look at the house I thought, "Is there a party going on?" It was Tuesday afternoon! I was such a fool. But I thought houses with alleys and THREE CAR GARAGES would mean LESS parking on the street. 

Oh no. Alleys lead to MORE parking on the street. People are way too lazy to drive down the alley and park their cars in the back of their houses. 

One of the only spots without a car on our street was in front of our house. Until one day someone parked there for two days straight. But he wasn't visiting us, he was visiting the people across the street. I marched over there and said as politely as I could, "I don't want us to get off on the wrong foot but is there a reason your guest is parking in front of my house?" She apologized and said she would have him move in front of her house. 

And then NEVER spoke to me again. It was quite awkward. 

I'm in jeopardy of a having a similar parking pickle in my new house. I love that in my new neighborhood, people rarely park on the street. They use their garages and their driveways. It's a beautiful thing! You might find a car parked on the street every 12th house or so. Some streets have NO CARS parked on the street. 

And then you get to MY house. 

For the past three weeks there has been a constant stream of cars parked right in front of my house. Sometimes it's just one. But usually there are three. And almost always there is a big black truck with a trailer carrying some large plastic water tank. When people come by my house they say, "Oh, who is visiting?" or "Do you have a friend over?" That is how much these cars are in front of my house. 

The situation (so I've heard from another neighbor) is that the people next door to me have family staying with them while they are in between houses. I get it. It's temporary. But I don't know how temporary cause so far it was been 22 days and it is DRIVING ME CRAZY!! 

I think part of the reason I am frustrated is that they have a FOUR CAR GARAGE and a big parking pad. But nobody seems to use that. They would all rather park right in front of my house. Usually one car is in front of their house but the rest are in front of mine, uncomfortably close to my mailbox. (I should add that, the way our houses are set up, they don't really have a stretch of street in front of their house for more than one car.) 

I don't really have a leg to stand on though. The street is not my property, right? They are allowed to park there. My only reasons for complaining are 1). I am tired of looking out my window and, instead of seeing our lovely neighborhood, I see a parking lot and 2). If I were to have people over (which I have in the last three weeks), they can't park in front of my house. 

But the thing is my neighbors are really nice. They seem to be the type of people who would not mind at all if I had relatives who parked in front of their house for weeks on end. And I guess that is why they didn't think it was necessary to come talk to us before and say, "Hey, we are going to have our family staying with us for X amount of weeks. I wanted to let you know that they might park some cars on the street, some in front of your house. Oh and one of their cars is a giant black truck with a trailer on it that carries a strange plastic tank of water on it. K?" 

I just feel like that would be the Christian thing to do. 

In a few weeks I am going to have a birthday party at my house for Leo. If the cars are still parking there I am going to have to say something. But I don't want it to end like my Frisco parking fiasco. So I have been practicing what I could say that would be very diplomatic, kind and reasonable. 

"I know you are good Christians and so are we, so that's why I want to say in the nicest way possible…can you move all these damn cars?!!" 

"See, I really don't like hoarders and so that's why I don't like cars parked on the street…"

"You're so lucky you have a FOUR car garage! We only have a two car garage but it's okay because we just have two cars." 

"Where would Jesus park?"

I'm still working on it. 

My Tweaks for Target

If I ever decided to work in a corporate establishment in human resources, the people at Target would be fools not to hire me. Sure, I don't have any HR experience but I do have TARGET experience. A lot of it. Right there in the trenches.

I've actually distanced myself from the red bullet in the last few months. I didn't do it intentionally. It's not because of that silly credit card snafu or anything. I think it's because it's about four minutes farther from my house than Kroger. But that doesn't make sense because Kroger doesn't have Starbucks, clothes or lamp shades. Still, my red card bill was significantly lower these last few months.

Back to HR: Since I still frequent Target at least once a week, I have some observations about their employees:

First of all, why oh why can't Target issue a standard red shirt? Cause these guys take the word "red" very loosely. They think it includes rose, maroon and neon pink. There I am asking someone  in a burgundy top where the Pull-ups are and she's all, "Do I look like I work here, lady?"

I also think they need consistent educational standards in hiring. Like, you need to at least have a high school diploma or a GED to work there full-time. But you don't need a college degree, much less a masters, like the guys I overheard the other day:

These two dudes were stocking the lame produce section in a non-Super Target. (They still had four-pack avocados--score!) They were both in their early 20s. One guy says something like, "The actual catalyst for the French and Indian War was France's expansion into the Ohio River Valley although many believe it was Great Britain's claims to Quebec." Then the other Target dude said something like, "But it was France's reconnaissance mission that brought about the retaliation of the British troops in the Mississippi Valley."

Huh?? (Btw, I don't even think they were talking about the French and Indian War but it was some war and they were using REALLY big words!) I mean, I could understand that one guy was a war buff and somehow was wasting his genius at Target. But two smarty pants? If I were in HR I would have at least put them in a Super Target.

But today I overheard some Target employees talking that made me think Target does NOT enforce the GED thing.

Target employee talking on his walkie talkie: "Yes, this is Lyle over in bedding. What is a sham? I repeat, what is a sham?  Do you copy? A sham?"

Now it's bad enough that Lyle didn't know what a sham was but there were THREE other employees AND a customer in this circle of nonsense. Lyle went on:

"A SHAM! What is it? No, no, I'm in the bedding section. It says it's a sham! Oh, it's for pillows? Thanks! He says it's something for pillows." And then silently to himself he surely said, "Who woulda thunk it?"

And this was a Super Target! I expect more. I mean, what if one of the war nerds had to stock shelves with Lyle one day? War nerd would be so annoyed. Or maybe Lyle would be.

Or it's quite possible war nerd does not know what a sham is either.

And I betcha neither one of them knows the difference between red and magenta.

Naughty or Happy?

Gus is learning about opposites AND Dr. Seuss. Here is what he has to say about those subjects:

Also, I was the "mystery reader" at Gus' school today. I read Green Eggs and Ham in honor of Dr. Seuss. When I made my entrance Gus ran over and hugged me. Then he sat in the chair next to me as I read the book. About three pages in he stood up and screamed, 

"MY MOMMY IS THE MYSTERY READER!! !"  

It was the sweetest. thing. ever. 

Southern Snow

Tomorrow will be our fourth snow day this year! Today was the first one where we actually had snow. Just like in Dallas, we get about two-five of these days each winter here in Atlanta. That's just enough snow for me. But unlike Dallas, we've got hills for sledding, right in our backyard!

We're considering this one for  America's Funniest Home Videos. Leo was fine, by the way. 

Our snowman was pretty pathetic!

Dental Dating

For me, finding a dentist is like blind dating. I try out a lot; very few make the cut. And the whole experience is frustrating, uncomfortable and sometimes awkward. Last week I ran out of a dentist. I'll tell you how that happened. But first, a little of my dental dating history:

Several years ago I went to one where I had a meeting with the hygienist followed by, "Okay, now let's  schedule your cleaning!" I said, "Um, your'e not going to clean my teeth today?"
"Oh no!" she said. "This appointment was just for us to get to know you!"

I took off work for this?

Then there was the dentist who wanted to do a "treatment plan" for Frank and me. Now, for someone like me (with a history of dental issues) that wasn't too hard to believe. But Frank (who, by the way, rarely flosses but has excellent reports from the dentist) has never even had a cavity. So when he heard "treatment plan," he knew that just meant "ca-ching!"

After that one we hit one of those chain dentists that recommended veneers for me WHILE I WAS PREGNANT. That means I didn't get the strong stuff and it was THE MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCE EVER. The dentist said, 'Girl, I don't know how you're gonna go through child birth if you can't handle this." I still have PTSD when I think about it.

Oh, and I can't forget the one after that where I had a little fit in the waiting room. I was waiting…and waiting…and waiting and it was getting to the point where I had about 45 minutes until I had to pick up Leo from preschool. So I asked how long it was going to be. They said they didn't know. I explained that I might just need to reschedule because, if it was going to be much longer and I couldn't get a cleaning in, then I didn't want to sit in the waiting room anymore. The hygienist came roaring out of the back saying, "I'LL BE DONE WHEN I'M DONE!!" Let's just say I responded unfavorably. They gave me a Chili's gift card as an apology. So we kept going there. They put a note in my chart that said I was not to be with that particular hygienist.

Our dentist in Frisco--awesome. Finally.

But then we moved back to Roswell so we had to find another dentist here. Sure, we could have gone back to Chili's gift card dentist but it's a little far for us now. So I found one on our insurance and off I went to my first cleaning last week. (I like to go to the dentist 3-4 times a year; it cuts down on the lecturing and scolding I get for "never flossing." Btw, I floss every single night, better than they do it.)

This one took the cake. I go in and it's a really nice place, like almost too nice. The lady behind the desk introduces herself and SHAKES MY HAND. Wow, I thought. They are really friendly. This place is awesome. "We have coffee, bars, tea…" she told me, pointing to this cute little kitchenette area in the waiting room. I settled into one of their comfy couches and thought, "I think I'm gonna like it here. I think this might be THE ONE."

I filled out a heap of paperwork and then they called me back to give me a tour. Yes, a tour. Okay, a little unnecessary but whatever. I don't care about your "state of the art" crown machine and your sink area. Then she takes me into the "consultation room" where she proceeds to ask me questions like, "What kind of relationship do you want with your dentist?" To which I replied, "This is funny. I just want a cleaning."

Then ANOTHER person comes into the consultation room to, I guess consult with me more. I felt like I was on a job interview! Wait, I mean a blind date. I'm mixing metaphors. This lady gives me a full bio on the dentist--super detailed. Where she went to undergrad, dental school, her family, her philosophy…OMG, will someone just clean my damn teeth? I think she mentioned the word "treatment plan" too---before they even looked at my teeth! When I told her that I had had gum surgery she said, "How would you feel if the dentist recommended a deep cleaning of your gums? I said, "I would hate it. I would be very much opposed to that."

I then ask, "How much longer is this appointment?" She said, "We have you scheduled for two hours." At this point it had been about 45 minutes. She then sent me back to that waiting room, which I no longer thought was so comfortable. In fact, I was getting so antsy that I started to plan my escape. As the one hour mark approached and I still hadn't seen a dentist or a dental chair, I got up my nerve.

I approached my new best friend behind the front desk (she was super friendly and had chatted with me about Texas) and said, "My son's school just texted me. He's sick and I have to go pick him up."

"Oh no! I hope it's not that stomach bug! Is he throwing up?"

"Yes, um, yes he is."

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"I'll just call to reschedule!" I said, and I ran out of there as fast as I could!

Now I have been on a lot of bad dental dates. But that was the first one that I totally bailed on. They haven't tried too hard to hunt me down (just a generic text and email) so I am just going to avoid them. I've already made an appointment at a new dentist. It felt like a good fit because the woman on the phone laughed when I told her about this experience. I mean, I had to make sure they weren't going to do the same thing!

So keep your fingers crossed that this one's a keeper.

HGTVing It Part II

It didn't happen in 22 minutes but the process of taking my cabinets from pine-90s-laminate to glorious white was pretty quick. And pretty smooth. At least for me. I just had to keep the kids outta there for three days. (There was a lot of fast food consumed. Leo declared Sonic the "best restaurant ever.") 

Here is what they looked like at the end of Day 2. I gotta tell you, I was a little concerned. At this point they still looked Ikea chic. 

But then the guys came in on Day 3 with the doors and panels...

…and the molding! That made a huge difference.

And then the heavens opened up and I think I heard angels singing, "Alleluia!" And there they were. The most beautiful kitchen cabinets ever in my price range!

I am absolutely in love with these cabinets, and really, my whole kitchen. I am a smitten kitten.

They not only look pretty. They look right. They look like they belong here! Like, "Where have you been all my life?"

This is where I stand for 85% of the day. Surely my neighbors think I am chained here. But hey, if this is prison, get me an orange jump suit!

So to sum it up: 

BEFORE: 

AFTER!