Frank isn’t good with names. So when he came home one day and said he had a co-worker whose name he couldn’t pronounce, I wasn’t surprised: “What is it? Sydney? Cindy?” I asked. (These are two that often throw him off.) “No,” he said,” I have no idea how to even try to pronounce it.” I suggested that we sound it out. “Well what does it start with?” I asked. “X,” he said.
X? Well this time he had stumped me. We still don’t know what this girl’s name is so I just call her Ixtapa. I know that starts with an “I” but that’s what I always think of when I think of this girl. And, really, I didn’t know it started with an “I” until I looked it up right now. Anyway, now I just say, “So how’s Ixtapa doing?” or “Did you ask Ixtapa if she could help you with the project?” or “Is Ixtapa hot? Do you have a work crush on her?”
No offense to Ixtapa but X is the silliest letter in the English alphabet. (Q is a close second since it’s so dependent on U.) In school, when we’d learn our letters with flash cards, the example of X was always “xylophone.” Xylophone? How often do I use that word? I’m gonna go with never. It’s like by that point in the alphabet they’ve really run out of ideas. And if the kid is smart he/she will say:
“Okay, I get it. If xylophone starts with X than X must make a zzzz sound.”
Then two cards later the kid will see Z (with a zebra, of course) and the kid will say, “Wait a second. That’s the same sound that X made. Are they the same? And if not, why do we even have the letter X?”
Naturally, the teacher will throw out the old “X-ray” card (which is the only other example ever used for X). What are we doing to these kids?
It’s a ridiculous letter and I say we just get rid of it. Then we could have a 25-letter alphabet. It won’t really affect our language except that darn song. So here’s what we’ll do: When we get to that part in the song we could go “T, U, V, W (hooh), Y, Z.” On the “hooh” you make like this thrusting gesture with your fist. It’s gonna sound really urban chic. I think Ixtapa will totally dig it.
We have a friend named Xio (pronounced See-Oh)... I wonder if that's it! :)
ReplyDeleteBut... again, why not just spell it "Cio" or something? No need for the letter X.
ReplyDeleteWe do need the letter X, without it there would be no SEX and the human population would die. I think X is the most important letter. S and E are a close second.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the traffic lately? We could do without all that X.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...maybe I'm just against X as a first letter. I like people named Max. I like Flax. I like to eXercise.
ReplyDeleteWhat about Xaviar? It's a university, the inventor of Cabbage Patch Kids, and the patron saint of China.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you just don't like GIRLS names that start with X.
See, now you are coming around. Maybe we just don't like words that start with X, but it is OK if X is in the word.
ReplyDeleteAs for Xavier, we could spell it "Exzaviar." The signautre on the cabbage patch butt wouldn't look as cool though.
ReplyDeleteI bet her name is Ximena, very popular in Latin America. The "X" is pronounced like an H. Now I am very curious. Frank must find out her name, although I like Ixtapa as a name and as a fun resort!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, the name is also popular on the Mexican soap operas!
ReplyDeleteI guess you will still refer to her as Ixtapa