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Friday, October 28, 2005

Halfway Husbands

Before Frank and I got married, we attended a seminar that I like to call “Catholic Camp.” We were required to attend it by our church and they recommended that engaged couples go to camp about six months before the wedding. So when did we go? One week before the big day! Yes, we were “procrastination station” as Frank would say.

So natch, we spent most of our time at camp making last-minute wedding plans—who’s going to print the programs? How many RSVPs do we have? Do we have to share the cake with our guests?

But when we weren’t finalizing the details we actually participated in the group activities which included drawing our family trees, creating a skit and excessive drinking. Wait. There actually wasn’t any booze there. Hello? I thought this was a Catholic Camp. I don’t see how this is any different from Baptist Camp. And at least those couples get a shorter ceremony.

Anyway, we soberly participated in another activity—the chore assigner. In this exercise we separately filled out a form about which spouse was to do each chore. So for each one, we were to put a “W, H or B (for both)” Then we got together and evaluated.

On mine I had assigned everything as either “Husband” or “Both.” Oops. So we did some shuffling and came out with a fair list—I would grocery shop. He would take out the trash. We would both do the dishes.

So now we try to stick with our assigned chores. Except there’s one problem—Frank doesn’t like to complete chores. He does half of them. It’s like a trademark of his. So when he takes out the trash (which he’s very good about), he doesn’t put a new bag in the trash can. Half a chore!

Big deal? Well, it wouldn’t be if I weren’t obsessed with the “Ah” factor. I like to look around a room and say, “Ah.” That means that nothing is out of place, nothing is left undone, everything is perfect. Yikes. Maybe I need to go back to Catholic Camp to talk about my analness. But we’re focusing on halfway Frank here.

When Frank does a chore, I don’t get the “Ah” factor. Like the other night he offered to do the dishes while I finished a Writinggal task. How sweet. But when I came downstairs I KNEW he was going to leave something. Sure, the dishes were all in the dishwasher.
Good boy. But there were two glasses on the table along with a crumpled up napkin. Who can “ah” over that? Not me, that’s for sure.

I like to say “Well, that chore is done” and wipe my hands of it. So if there’s anything left of it—anything at all—it’s like the whole chore is not done to me.

I have to say, while this half a chore thing is frustrating, we have made a lot of progress. For instance, Frank understands that we don’t put food garbage in the bedroom trashcan. He puts all his dirty clothes in the hamper (in the correct section, yay!) and he lets me buy catsup in the bottle rather than making me steal packets from Wendy’s.

And that’s the kind of stuff they just don't teach you at Baptist Camp.

7 comments:

Jessi said...

Justin totally does it too. Especially the garbage thing. Takes it out, doesn't put a new one in. Ahhhhhhh

And we're not Catholic or Baptist!

Writinggal said...

I think Jessi's "Ah" means she's fed up. She does not get the AH factor when Justin does a chore.

I think he's too busy building his media room:

http://jfoell.blogspot.com/2005/10/20th-century-vs-21st-century.html

Anonymous said...

The trash thing happens in my house all the time!!! Oh wait, it's just me...so I guess it's my fault. Right now my trash can is bagless. But I was in a hurry when I left this morning. Hey, at least I took the trash out, right?

Jessi said...

Ya, he's still building it. I have to wait til he gets home to watch Seinfeld! Maybe it's just me, but I don't think it should be this hard to watch tv.

I hate taking out the garbage!

Anonymous said...

I know Thea I am the same way. I am trying to improve on putting the new trash bag in as soon as I take out the trash. I only have myself to blame!!
Luna is just useless in the chore department.

Writinggal said...

I could write a whole other blog on "Half Ass Kristin."

She only eats half her entree.
She only drinks half a glass of wine.
And now she only does half a chore.

I don't see how I can be related to someone who can leave half a piece of cake.

Writinggal said...

Yes, and I'm always the first one to have something to throw away (since I do all the cleaning) so I'm the one who's met with the bagless trash can.

Oooh, just wait till you get home, Frankie!!